Sunday, March 30, 2014

Sometimes I Just Feel Crabby & MYHSM Linky Party



Making your home sing Mondays


Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday linky party!  Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). 

My point with each Monday post is, what are YOU doing or going to do today to make your home sing?  It can be an attitude or an action. So have fun, do some blog hopping, and link up!  Thanks!


Topics can include marriage, parenting, encouraging women, organization, cleaning, saving money, our behavior and attitudes, homemaking, homeschooling, recipes.....the opportunities are endless.


Note: We had 110 linkups last week!  You guys are awesomely amazing and amazingly awesome!  Don't forget to visit one another and try to leave a comment on at least one blog to encourage someone today!  :)  

On the left sidebar (down towards the bottom) is the "Making Your Home Sing! Monday" button which I'd love for you to grab and paste into your post!  It is a "no-follow" button.


Image courtesy of jesadaphorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Sometimes I just feel crabby.  I don't have a reason, nothing unusual has happened to upset or annoy me.  I can't even use hormones as an excuse.

I.Just.Feel.Crabby.

And I want to BE crabby.  I want to give in to the grumps and gloom and be mad and annoyed at everything and everyone.

I want to slam drawers and cupboards and howl at the moon.

I want to be annoyed because I slammed the cupboard door and it bounced back and hit me in the head.

I want to be mad because I didn't clean up the kitchen immediately after dinner like I usually do so there are dishes in the sink.

Or I DID clean it up after dinner and now there are dishes in the sink.  Either way.

I want to be annoyed because I tripped over someone's shoes in the entry hall when I've ASKED them to please put them away.

I want to be grumpy and I want to ENJOY it.  I want to feel sorry for myself and wallow in it.

And I don't feel like being an example to anyone.  I don't want to have to set an example of Christlike love. I don't want to remember that my attitude can set the tone around here.

I don't want to be reminded that if I get grumpy and snap at someone, I am very likely to drag everyone else down right along with me.

I don't want to think about how my attitude affects those around me.

I don't want to think about how they don't deserve to be snapped at or attacked simply because they are breathing too hard or laughing too loud or simply relaxing in front of the t.v. when I think they should be doing something "worthwhile."  Like cleaning something. Or organizing something.  Or folding something.




Is THIS what we want to look like or be compared to?  Small, beady eyes all lit up with anger? Hands all ready to reach out like sharp claws to get what we want?  Mouth set in a frown but ready to open and spew out complaints and harsh words like verbal vomit?

When I am feeling that grumpy, and it doesn't happen very often, but when it does......I begin to LOOK for things to be unhappy about.

And I find them.  And suddenly, I am not only grumpy, I am dissatisfied.  I am unhappy.  I am MAD.

Suddenly everything bothers me and I am nagging and nitpicking about all the "little" things that have suddenly become huge.

Suddenly the atmosphere around here is tense.  Suddenly everyone is walking around quietly and no one seems to want to look me in the eye.  Everyone seems to want to get out of my way.  Even the dogs.

This is about the time I realize the mess that I have made.

I have let MY mood become their mood.

I have changed the atmosphere around here.  What once was lighthearted is now heavyhearted.  What once was laughter is now quiet.  And so I feel bad.  For them. For me.  For the dogs......

I have managed to suck all the joy out of everything and turn it into drudgery.  I have made everything harder for myself because now, instead of serving in love, I am serving myself.

And, in serving myself, I have become selfish.  And, in being selfish, I have become unhappy.  And in being unhappy I have lost my joy!

This is about the time that I start desperately praying for God's grace to show up and save me from myself.  Because I still FEEL crabby.  But now I feel crabby and convicted, and I need His help to turn things around.

Do you feel crabby sometimes?

1.  Ask God to turn your mind and your heart around.  Remember all you have to be thankful for.
2.  Thank Him for each member of your family and for the opportunity to bless them.
3.  Go into the bathroom or somewhere to get away for a few moments if you need to.
4.  Apologize to those around you if you need to.  Let their hugs and love warm your heart.
5.  Put on some of your favorite music, grab your children and dance around until you're all laughing.
6.  Keep that smile on your face and joy in your heart as you go about your day.





We can hold onto crabby or we can let it go.  We can turn ourselves into martyrs and drudges, or we can be thankful for the opportunity to serve in love.


We can take what we do and make it a battle or a blessing.

I choose to make it a blessing.  What are YOU going to choose today?


What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own "Making Your Home Sing Monday" Linky on your blog.



If you don't want to miss any blogs posts, you can subscribe
by 
RSS, Bloglovin, Feedly
Facebook or Email 

I'd love to connect with you!




I am linking up to these  linky parties:

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Living Proverbs 31


marriage mondays125 Titus 2 Tuesday Button Messy MarriageFamily Home and LifeWise-Woman-Builds Teaching What Is Goodkatherines corner Photobucket 
Womanhood With PurposeMissional Women

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Things I Wouldn't Say To A Woman Struggling With Infertility


Making your home sing Mondays


Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday linky party!  Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). 

My point with each Monday post is, what are YOU doing or going to do today to make your home sing?  It can be an attitude or an action. So have fun, do some blog hopping, and link up!  Thanks!


Topics can include marriage, parenting, encouraging women, organization, cleaning, saving money, our behavior and attitudes, homemaking, homeschooling, recipes.....the opportunities are endless.


Note: We had 115 linkups last week!  You guys are awesomely amazing and amazingly awesome!  Don't forget to visit one another and try to leave a comment on at least one blog to encourage someone today!  :)  

On the left sidebar (down towards the bottom) is the "Making Your Home Sing! Monday" button which I'd love for you to grab and paste into your post!  It is a "no-follow" button.


Image courtesy of anankkml / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I remember trying for years and years to get pregnant.  Those were hard years but they were also wonderful years of just my husband and I, bonding together and getting through the painful years of infertility.

Every month I mourned the death of a dream, the dream of ever getting pregnant.  And every month hope started anew as maybe THIS month would be the month and I'd conceive a precious little one.

I also remember many of the things people said to me:

Buy a (fill in the blank)  Car, boat, bigger house, dog......you name it they said it.  
Buy something.  Anything!  Great!  Then you will be stuck with a boat payment, a house you can't afford, a dog you didn't really want, and you're STILL not pregnant.

Just relax and it will happen
Take a vacation, they said.  Relax, they said.  Come on, you mean to tell me that I hadn't relaxed at least ONCE in all those years?  Seriously?  Not once?  Way to put all the blame on me, folks!

Are you SURE you want one?
I remember standing there with friends whose toddlers were acting up and they looked at me in frustration and weariness and said "Are you SURE you want one of these?"

"Yes.  Yes, I want one of those.  Very much." I'd say.  They would just sigh and shake their heads, grab their screaming toddler and walk away.  I stared longingly after them.

I wanted one, very much.  Because I knew that those little ones wouldn't scream forever. I knew that there were difficult times and wonderful, precious times.  And I wanted to experience them all.

Adopt.
"My best friend's mother's sister's pastor's wife's hair stylist adopted and SHE got pregnant right afterward."  Wow, that's awesome!

However, I don't see adoption as a way to increase my fertility. You adopt when you're ready to adopt, not so you can conceive afterward.  And for the record, that doesn't happen to everybody.

Stop trying.  It will happen.
Please see "Relax" above.

How many times have you tried and how have you tried it?
Stop.  Seriously, please just stop..........

I realized that they really meant well and they were just trying to "help," but after several years of hearing the same things over and over, it could really frustrate me at times.  And everyone always seemed to think that they were the first to have ever thought of that.


When and if she DOES get pregnant, rejoice with her!  Don't say:

Now that you're pregnant, you can STILL lose it!
I remember when I was pregnant.  I had had complications with that pregnancy (with all my pregnancies, actually) and had to have bed rest for the first six weeks and the last six weeks.

But I had reached the end of that "three month" mark and I was thrilled, because I knew that the odds of losing this baby would decrease.

A woman I knew asked me how I was doing and I said "Great. I feel really good about passing the three month mark, knowing that I probably won't lose the baby now."

She responded, "Oh, not necessarily!  You can STILL lose the baby.  My daughter lost hers in her fourth month."  I just stared at her, dumbfounded.  Why would she TELL me that.  Obviously I knew I could still lose the baby at anytime.  I was just rejoicing in making the three month mark.  Couldn't she just GIVE me that much?

If a miscarriage occurs, mourn with her!
That pregnancy went fine and our son was born healthy, but I did lose our third child in a miscarriage. Although my husband and I talked about it, a few people around me were afraid to even mention it, as they were afraid of hurting me.  However, to me, it looked like they didn't care.

One gal came up to me when I was crying about it and told me to stop crying.

She said I had a responsibility to my baby not to cry or mourn, she was in heaven and I shouldn't be sad.  Believe me, it's o.k. to mourn the loss of your child, someone you never met but carried within you for months and months and loved. 


It's o.k. to say nothing!
Sometimes people just open their mouths and say the wrong things because they feel like they have to say SOMETHING.  Bless their hearts, they mean well.  And they're trying, they really are.

Dear People, it's o.k. to say nothing.  When words fail you, don't desperately try to say something, ANYTHING, just to bridge the silence.

It's o.k. to say nothing.  Sometimes a sympathetic ear and a loving hug will say more than your words ever could.

Are you there now?
If you are living with infertility right now, I won't say I've been there.  Because I haven't.  I've been there with me, but I haven't been there with YOU.  So I won't say I know what you are feeling.  I only know what I was feeling.

But I can say that each day is a GIFT, and if you receive each day as the gift that it is, you will find joy in each new day.  And finding joy in each new day, in your husband, in your marriage, and in those you love, will make the journey a little easier.

"But the fruit of the Spirit........is joy......." 
(Galatians 5:22)


What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own "Making Your Home Sing Monday" Linky on your blog.



If you don't want to miss any blogs posts, you can subscribe
by 
RSS, Bloglovin, Feedly
Facebook or Email 

I'd love to connect with you!


I am linking up to these linky parties:

Photobucket

Living Proverbs 31


marriage mondays 125 Titus 2 Tuesday ButtonTeaching What Is Good
 Messy MarriageFamily Home and LifeWise-Woman-Builds katherines corner Photobucket

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Saying "I'm Sorry" vs. "Will You Forgive Me?" & MYHSM Linky Party


Making your home sing Mondays


Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday linky party!  Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). 

My point with each Monday post is, what are YOU doing or going to do today to make your home sing?  It can be an attitude or an action. So have fun, do some blog hopping, and link up!  Thanks!


Topics can include marriage, parenting, encouraging women, organization, cleaning, saving money, our behavior and attitudes, homemaking, homeschooling, recipes.....the opportunities are endless.


Note: We had 95 linkups last week!  You guys are awesomely amazing and amazingly awesome!  Don't forget to visit one another and try to leave a comment on at least one blog to encourage someone today!  :)  

On the left sidebar (down towards the bottom) is the "Making Your Home Sing! Monday" button which I'd love for you to grab and paste into your post!  It is a "no-follow" button.


We forgive by faith, not by feeling.  We don't have to feel it to do it.

This is a principle that we tried to teach our children.  This is a principle that we tried to learn ourselves.

I remember when our kids were little.  We didn't have them say "I'm sorry" when they hurt someone's feelings.  We had them say "Will you forgive me?"

Because it's very easy to say "I'm sorry" but it's a lot harder to ask for forgiveness.

We say "I'm sorry" when we accidentally interrupt someone.

We say "I'm sorry" when we bump into someone.

We say "I'm sorry" when we accidentally step on someone's foot.

We say "I'm sorry" when we knock over our water at someone's house.

Should we then say the same "I'm sorry" when we hurt someone?  Should we say "I'm sorry" when we devastate someone?  Should we say "I'm sorry" when we drive someone to tears of grief and pain? Is sorry enough?

"I'm sorry" isn't all that hard to say.  It can even be cut down to one word.  "Sorry."  You can even shorten it so you can say it faster: "S'ry."

But saying "Will you forgive me?" can be harder to say. It doesn't feel as natural.  It's humbling.

Try it sometime when you've upset someone.  Which is harder to say, "I'm sorry?" or "Will you forgive me?"

By extension we wanted our children to learn to say "I forgive you" when they were wronged.

"It's o.k." is fine for when someone steps on your foot, or accidentally bumps into you, or knocks something out of your hand.  We say it all the time to family, to friends, to strangers.

But there's a time for "I forgive you."  It means you hurt me, and I recognize that and I am willing to accept your apology and extend to you grace and forgiveness.

It means it cost ME something to forgive you.  It means I give up my right to be bitter and angry and hold it over your head, and I am willing to move forward into forgiveness.

And sometimes, it means that I am willing to forgive you, even when you don't want it or don't believe you need it because you don't think you did anything wrong.


Sometimes, "I forgive you" is said so that I don't allow you to take me down with you.  So that I don't allow you to imprison me in a fortress of hate or bitterness or anger where I am the prisoner and you hold the key.

Saying "I forgive you" opens the door for me to heal.  I don't forgive you for you.  I forgive you for ME.

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." 
(Colossians 3:13)


What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own "Making Your Home Sing Monday" Linky on your blog.



If you don't want to miss any blogs posts, you can subscribe
by 
RSS, Bloglovin, Feedly
Facebook or Email 

I'd love to connect with you!


I am linking up to these linky parties today:  




Photobucket125 Titus 2 Tuesday Button Messy MarriageFamily Home and LifeWise-Woman-Builds Teaching What Is GoodWhat Joy Is Mine
Living Proverbs 31