Friday, May 2, 2014

Things My Parents Used To Say.......



When I was a kid my parents would say stuff that didn't make sense.  We would be riding in the car, tired, hungry, impatient to arrive somewhere, and inevitably someone would start to annoy someone else and an argument would begin.

My dad would holler "DO YOU WANT ME TO PULL THIS CAR OVER?????" and all my brothers and sisters would say "No! No! No!"

And I would be saying "Yes, please!"

I just didn't get it.

Or whenever we wanted to do something "everyone" else was doing, my mom would say "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you?" and I'd think, "That depends.  Is there water below?"

I just didn't get it.

Another favorite reply was "Because I said so."  Oh really?  Because you SAID so?  What kind of answer is that?  How do I even respond to that?  (Oh! o.k......NOW I get it.....)

My grandmother would often say "Pretty is as pretty does" and I didn't get that one either.  I would just nod my head and walk away, wondering whether I had just been complimented or insulted.

I remember hearing "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" and I'm thinking, ewwww! Why would I want to hold a bird in my hand and what if it has to go to the bathroom?

And that whole "don't put the cart before the horse" thing?   We didn't even OWN a cart much less a horse but even so, I always pictured a horse pulling a shopping cart.  Although I wanted one very badly.  A horse.  Not a shopping cart.

And what about "Close the door.  Were you raised in a barn?"  This one just seemed silly.  They were my parents.....they KNEW I wasn't raised in a barn.  Although the prospect was somewhat enchanting and slightly terrifying.  Maybe it would hold my non-existent horse and shopping cart.

I just didn't get it.

And for the record, I really DID believe that my face would freeze that way.

Also never quite got the "This will hurt me more than it hurts you" line.  Nope.  Not even CLOSE.  I have no idea how they were able to say that with a straight face.

Why did my mom feel the need to tell me she wasn't "born yesterday?"  Duhhhhhh.  For the record, you probably shouldn't say "Duh,' when your mom says that.  Just sayin'...........

That whole "We're not laughing at you, we're laughing WITH you" thing does not make sense when you're the only one NOT laughing.

But parents say all sorts of things, and I would usually nod my head wisely, as if I totally understood and agreed with what they were saying.  Then I would walk away in search of chocolate.

I just didn't get it.  (The point they were trying to make.  Although I probably didn't get the chocolate either.)

I also made myself several promises of things that I would NEVER, EVER, EVER say to my kids.

Such as, "Because I said so."  That was a biggie.  I promised I'd never say that to my kids.

Until the day I found myself saying it to them anyway.

Because........they just didn't get it.

What things did YOUR parents say to YOU?

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