Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday linky party! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one).
My point with each Monday post is, what are YOU doing or going to do today to make your home sing? It can be an attitude or an action. So have fun, do some blog hopping, and link up! Thanks!
Note: We had 125 linkups last week! You guys are awesomely amazing and amazingly awesome! Don't forget to visit one another and try to leave a comment on at least one blog to encourage someone today! :)
On the left sidebar (down towards the bottom) is the "Making Your Home Sing! Monday" button which I'd love for you to grab and paste into your post! It is a "no-follow" button.
Recently, a reader made a comment on an older post on my blog and said that my blog was a "disgrace to women." She said this in response to a post I did, in which I talked about what to do when you have a husband who WILL NOT pick up after himself.
If you've asked your husband over and over to pick up after himself and he won't do it, you basically have two choices: ignore it or pick it up yourself, right?
In the post, I said: "You can't MAKE him pick up his socks. But you can choose to ignore it and hope that they find their way into the laundry "magically" by themselves. Or you can pick them up FOR him and see it as an act of love and service.
Is it fair? No, maybe not, but does that really matter? Life is not fair, so let's stop keeping score. What matters is that sometimes we have to compromise in marriage. Sometimes you compromise, and sometimes he does. What matters is the marriage, not who picks up the socks.
I would rather choose to be happy rather than stress or ruin my marriage day after day by continuing to get angry over a pair of socks.
I would rather serve my husband in love rather than bring tension into my marriage. Instead of making it into a battle I want to turn it into a blessing.
The reader, obviously, didn't agree. I deleted her comment (and my response) in order to protect her privacy when I decided to respond to this on my blog. But here is what she said in her own words:
"So your solution is just to completely ignore the problem and act like your husbands mother, whom obviously didn't discipline him well enough to clean up after himself like a grown adult. This day in age, woman should be empowered, not just told to treat grown men like babies and be happy about it just to avoid confrontation. This blog is a disgrace to women.
I responded to her comment with the following:
Since when is it a disgrace to women to love my husband?
Since when is it a disgrace to women to choose to build my marriage rather than tear it down with my own hands?
Since when is it a disgrace to women to serve my husband in love rather than serve myself?
There are times when my husband does not pick up after himself. He either gets busy, forgets, or has other priorities.
I have asked him over the years and you know what? He's not perfect. He picks up after himself really well on some days, but there are many days when he does not.
I refuse to ruin my marriage over it. And if choosing to bless my husband and bless my marriage by picking up a pair of socks or shoes and putting them away means I am a "disgrace to women." So be it!
But it's not a disgrace to women, just a difference of opinion! That's the beauty of being a woman - we don't all have to be the same.
Not ignoring the problem but it is not OUR job to raise our husbands. We are their wives, not their moms.
So, I choose to make it a blessing instead of a battle. If a hubby has been asked over and over to pick up after himself and won't do it, what are the choices? Keep fighting and add tension to the marriage or choose to bless him instead?
As mentioned in the post, I assume the woman has already asked her husband to pick up after himself. But if he doesn't she can continue to nag him, get angry with him, and make her marriage miserable. Or she can choose to pick it up for him in love.
She can choose to make it a battle or a blessing. I think a blessing would be a better choice but if some would rather make it a battle that IS their choice. I just don't think it's worth straining or ruining my marriage over!
I stand by what I said in my blog post.
If our husbands do not pick up after themselves, what choices do we really have?
We can tell them over and over until we are blue in the face that we want them to keep things picked up. We can become more and more annoyed every time we see something left out until we explode in anger.
We can beg them over and over. We can remind them over and over. We can cry the ugly cry. But we can't MAKE them do it.
I assume that you've already asked your husband over and over to pick up after himself, and he either won't or does really well for a day or two and then consistently forgets.
So unless we're willing to have a knock down drag out fight every day, ultimately, we have two choices: make it a battle or a blessing.
We can make it a battle and fight with them, give them the cold shoulder, refuse to talk to them, withhold affection, nag them until they do it, and place a stress or strain on our marriage. Sure, they'll probably do it to shut us up, but at what cost to our marriage?
Or we can make it a blessing and pick it up ourselves (or let it go).
I don't happen to think that telling you to nag your husband and fight him every day is empowering you.
I would rather empower you with the knowledge that when you serve your husband in love, you are serving the Lord. Let me tell you, that is POWER.
The power to build your marriage, rather than tear it down. The power to serve someone in love rather than serve yourself.
The power to see change. Change in your marriage. Change in your man. Change in YOU.
My husband may not pick up after himself as often as I'd like, but I don't choose to dwell on that. I choose to dwell on the fact that he is always willing to go to the store for me and pick something up that I forgot. Even if it's 10:30 at night.
I choose to dwell on the fact that he always makes the bed if I get up first. I choose to dwell on the fact that he overlooks the annoying things that I do.
I choose to dwell on the fact that he loves the Lord, is kind, loving, caring, forgiving, a wonderful provider and an awesome husband and father. These things trump newspapers and socks lying around any day.
I choose to build my marriage by loving and serving my man, just as he loves and serves me. There is nothing more empowering than that.
What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today!
I am linking up to these linky parties: