Friday, April 11, 2014

A Little Mystery In Marriage Is Nice

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono /

I remember when my husband and I first started dating.  One day he came over and I had curlers in my hair and no makeup on.  My roommate was horrified.

She tried to get me to hide in the bathroom but I insisted upon answering the door.  I explained to her that I WANTED him to see me with no makeup and curlers in my hair.

I figured that if our relationship was going to go forward, then he needed to see the "real" me, because I certainly did not plan on spending my life hiding in the bathroom if we ever got married.  I said if seeing me without makeup or curlers was going to "scare" him away then I'd rather he run now.

I have talked with some women who say they like to have a little "mystery" in their marriage. One gal I know says her husband has never seen her without makeup.  Ever.  She goes to bed with it on and wakes up with it on.

I asked her if she had a serious case of raccoon eyes in the morning because that is EXACTLY what I would have if I went to bed with makeup on.

I blink and rub my eyes and usually manage to smear my mascara all over my face within an hour or two of applying makeup anyway.  I can only imagine how gorgeous I would look if I had several hours of sleeping in it.

I don't want mystery in marriage.  I want it all out there.  He's seen me with curlers in my hair, without makeup, sweaty, hairy legs and throwing up.  (Not all at the same time, of course.  I pretty much never throw up when I am shaving my legs.)

However, there are a few things that I keep private. Shaving my legs is one of them.  I honestly think you have to be a contortionist to be able to shave your legs effectively.   I prefer to moan and groan and bend and flex in the privacy of my bathroom rather than making it a community event.

But I don't call that mystery.  I am pretty sure my husband KNOWS I shave my legs because when we were newlyweds I borrowed his razor and he nearly bled to death trying to use it afterward.

I'm pretty sure he knows I blow my nose too.  Either that or he hears the call of my nose and wonders what flock of geese are flying overhead.

I have allergies and I happen to know that my sneeze has been clocked at 90 mph.  Once my husband and I were sleeping in our bedroom and I sneezed and we woke up in the garage.  It's that bad.

O.k., maybe a little mystery in marriage would be nice.  What do YOU guys think?

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  1. LOL! : )

    You make great points (in a very funny way!) "Mystery" is too often just dishonesty all-dressed-up. A little privacy is okay, but it shouldn't be taken too far.

    Thanks for a fun read.

    1. Oh I love that "Mystery is too often just dishonesty all dressed up!" Love how you put that!

  2. I agree with Anna. But even if it's not really dishonesty "dressed up" perpetuating a "mystery" often does more harm than good. Trust and communication are bedrocks to a healthy marriage. Mystery seems to counteract both. Fun and thoughtful post!

    1. Very good point and so true. Trust and communication is key, and also the ability to just "be yourself" and be real with one another is so important.

  3. Oh you are just TOOOO funny!! A little mystery is great in marriage!! Hahaha about mascara!!

  4. This is great!!! I love your sense of humor....... :) It is so good that you were able to be so transparent with your husband b4 marriage.... I think most of us couldn't have done that....all those insecurity issues....but how helpful that you could. Thank you for a fun well as a thought provoking one. :)


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