Sunday, March 16, 2014

Saying "I'm Sorry" vs. "Will You Forgive Me?" & MYHSM Linky Party

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday linky party!  Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). 

My point with each Monday post is, what are YOU doing or going to do today to make your home sing?  It can be an attitude or an action. So have fun, do some blog hopping, and link up!  Thanks!

Topics can include marriage, parenting, encouraging women, organization, cleaning, saving money, our behavior and attitudes, homemaking, homeschooling, recipes.....the opportunities are endless.

Note: We had 95 linkups last week!  You guys are awesomely amazing and amazingly awesome!  Don't forget to visit one another and try to leave a comment on at least one blog to encourage someone today!  :)  

On the left sidebar (down towards the bottom) is the "Making Your Home Sing! Monday" button which I'd love for you to grab and paste into your post!  It is a "no-follow" button.

We forgive by faith, not by feeling.  We don't have to feel it to do it.

This is a principle that we tried to teach our children.  This is a principle that we tried to learn ourselves.

I remember when our kids were little.  We didn't have them say "I'm sorry" when they hurt someone's feelings.  We had them say "Will you forgive me?"

Because it's very easy to say "I'm sorry" but it's a lot harder to ask for forgiveness.

We say "I'm sorry" when we accidentally interrupt someone.

We say "I'm sorry" when we bump into someone.

We say "I'm sorry" when we accidentally step on someone's foot.

We say "I'm sorry" when we knock over our water at someone's house.

Should we then say the same "I'm sorry" when we hurt someone?  Should we say "I'm sorry" when we devastate someone?  Should we say "I'm sorry" when we drive someone to tears of grief and pain? Is sorry enough?

"I'm sorry" isn't all that hard to say.  It can even be cut down to one word.  "Sorry."  You can even shorten it so you can say it faster: "S'ry."

But saying "Will you forgive me?" can be harder to say. It doesn't feel as natural.  It's humbling.

Try it sometime when you've upset someone.  Which is harder to say, "I'm sorry?" or "Will you forgive me?"

By extension we wanted our children to learn to say "I forgive you" when they were wronged.

"It's o.k." is fine for when someone steps on your foot, or accidentally bumps into you, or knocks something out of your hand.  We say it all the time to family, to friends, to strangers.

But there's a time for "I forgive you."  It means you hurt me, and I recognize that and I am willing to accept your apology and extend to you grace and forgiveness.

It means it cost ME something to forgive you.  It means I give up my right to be bitter and angry and hold it over your head, and I am willing to move forward into forgiveness.

And sometimes, it means that I am willing to forgive you, even when you don't want it or don't believe you need it because you don't think you did anything wrong.

Sometimes, "I forgive you" is said so that I don't allow you to take me down with you.  So that I don't allow you to imprison me in a fortress of hate or bitterness or anger where I am the prisoner and you hold the key.

Saying "I forgive you" opens the door for me to heal.  I don't forgive you for you.  I forgive you for ME.

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." 
(Colossians 3:13)

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own "Making Your Home Sing Monday" Linky on your blog.

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Living Proverbs 31


  1. Great distinction! Repentance and forgiveness are difficult but essential if we are to enjoy His blessings.
    Love in Christ,

  2. I love this topic, Nan. Have you read the 5 Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas? It was recently reprinted with a new title - When Sorry Isn't Enough. I found this book to be actually more interesting than the 5 Love Languages, which was one of my faves. I think I just have a passion for forgiveness and love exploring and learning more about it. I'm going to be moving in the "apology" direction with my forgiveness series soon too. :) Thanks for sharing this and for hosting each week, my friend!

    1. No, I haven't, Beth. I think I've heard of it before but haven't read it. I've never actually read the 5 Love Languages either. I've been enjoying your series so much and can't wait to read more!

  3. Great article. This is so important for us all to learn - and we have to learn it over and over and over.

    1. Yes we do. I guess when it comes to the important stuff, we really DO have to practice and learn it over and over, because some of it means dying to self or extending grace and that's not always easy to do!

  4. I agree Nan. Asking to be forgiven is hard on the flesh but very rewarding now and ultimately. Thanks for taking on this very important topic, and for hosting us too.
    Have a super blessed week!

    1. It is hard, isn't it? It's hard to be humble sometimes and it's hard to forgive sometimes, or to ask for forgiveness, but it frees us up and in the end, we're better off! ;)

  5. When I teach ESL, I help the kids understand that the more words we need the more serious the apology and that "Will you please forgive me?" and "I forgive you" are the most serious words of all. Thanks for focusing us on the faith of forgiveness.

    1. That's lovely, Helene! I like how you put that and I imagine that really helps them understand the meaning a lot better.

  6. "I'm sorry" is me absolving myself. "Please forgive me" is asking for someone else to absolve you. There is a lot more humility in asking someone to do that. Great distinction and perspective! I'm joining you from the Women Helping Women blog hop, and I am pinning to remember you are here. Thanks for sharing! Have a lovely week! :)

    1. I love how you put that and yes, it really does take a lot more humility. So glad you stopped by and left a comment. Thanks for the pin! :) You have a lovely week too, my friend!

  7. I totally agree with you in that it is easier to say, "I'm sorry" than
    "please forgive me." This was such a good post and you didn't leave out anything.

    I told you I would send your linkup party off the charts!! I'm so late that I don't suppose I will get anything out of linking up except the on thing most important to me. Keeping up with you, stopping by your blog just because I know you will always either encourage me through a serious post like this one or leave me laughing so hard that I fall off my chair.

    1. You are so sweet, my friend! I'm glad you linked up anyway, and you can always link the same post up again!

  8. Nan....I loved this post on forgiveness. You nail it. We have always taught our children to apologize by stating what they are sorry for. For instance, " I am sorry for laughing at you. Will you forgive me?" It helps them be accountable for what they did even if it was not intentional. Great post friend. Thank you for the link up.Blessings.

    1. I love how you have them verbalize what they're apologizing for. That is awesome and does help in their understand and in accountability, as you said. Thanks for joining in the party, my dear! :)


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