Thursday, February 13, 2014

Dear Kids, Mommy Is Not A Morning Person




Dear Kids, I am not a morning person.

No really, I'm not.

Haven't you figured that out yet?

You think I'm listening to you because I'm being quiet.  I'm not being quiet.

I am sleeping with my eyes open.

I am not nodding my head because I agree with you.  I am nodding my head because, as I fall asleep, my head falls forward and it jerks me awake.

When I move my head from side to side, I am not disagreeing with you, I am trying to shake myself awake.

I am having cold cereal and milk for breakfast.  I am having it because that's the only food that I can prepare and eat in my sleep.

Why do you get up so early?  Are you trying to get back at me somehow?

Is it because the birth canal wasn't wide enough when you were coming through?  Were the baby wipes too cold?  Was your bedroom too warm?  Are you mad because I didn't buy you that candy at Walmart when you were two?

I've often wondered why people say "I slept like a baby."

Babies don't sleep.  They regenerate. They are simply charging their batteries.

And while they are "sleeping" and recharging, they will occasionally test their lung power.  But only when they are sure that you are really and truly and deeply asleep.  Otherwise it's no fun.

I am still recovering from all those years of sleepless nights and zombified days.  And I'm still tired.

This, my children, is why I am not a morning person.


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What Joy Is MinePhotobucketHappy Wives ClubLiving Proverbs 31
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20 comments:

  1. I love this! I can so relate! The post was so amusing! love it! :D

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  2. me, too!! I am soo not a morning person. If you ask me something in the afternoon about the morning, I often have no clue. Let me rest!! x

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    1. Hahaha, I totally agree. If my husband asks me a question too early I am liable to forget we ever had the discussion, lol!

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  3. oh, and if you choose to regal me with a blow-by-blow (largely made up) account of your dreams, why would I not nod off half way through? 'And den de unicorn said 'blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah......'

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    1. Lol! I can so relate to that. You try and put a smile on your face but you are mentally dozing off inside, lol!

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  4. I'm reading this after being awake for two hours in the middle of the night with a baby who woke up three times. 7:15 rolls around and my eight year old is asking if she can make clay charms or if I can play Yahtzee with her (My response- Later!). Now at 7:45 I hear the rest of the crew has awoke. I once owned a coffee mug that said, ”Whoever made up the phrase, sleeps like a baby, obviously never HAD a baby. Amen!

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    1. I second that amen! One of my kids always woke up cheerful and energetic and talkative. I like a little quiet in the morning, haha.

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    1. Hahahaha, thanks, Jennifer! Glad you can relate!

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  6. oh my goodness you have me laughing so hard right now...loved this post. Now go back to bed, LOL. Thank you for helping to make the Thursday Favorite Things Blog hop so much fun. Big Hugs ♥

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    1. Lol! Glad I could give you a good laugh! ;)

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  7. LOL! I feel SOOO blessed because my daughter is ALSO not a morning person : ) !

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    1. Oh you ARE blessed, lol! Must be nice and quiet around your place in the morning! ;)

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  8. This is so funny, and so me!!! Mine are grown up and I am still not a morning person. When Charly calls me at 7:00AM, and I haven't had my coffee yet, I have a hard time trying to keep up my part of the conversation. Poor thing is 42 weeks pregnant and needs to talk to her mom. You would think at 24 years old, she would know that I am not really awake at 7:00AM, I just look it. My husband just laughs and says it is the best time of day to get me to agree to anything he wants, because I have no idea what he is talking about.
    Have a great week.
    Debi @ Adorned From Above

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    1. Oh bless her heart, lol! Love your husband's comment and pretty sure mine would agree with him, lol!

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  9. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words! I was not a morning person when I had little ones - and I am not one now. Some mornings after microwaving a frozen breakfast sandwich and handing it to my 16 year old as she heads out the door for school in the dark and I am heading back to bed, I feel a little bit of guilt. Just a little!

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  10. I always love your posts and this one didn't disappoint me one bit!!

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  11. My dear Nan! How long has it been?? Lets just say WAY TOO long! How have you been? Your comment on my blog was such a delight and brought the biggest smile to my face! It was so good to hear from you :)

    I am truly sorry for now visiting like I used to. I will do my best to remedy that. Take care, sweet lady. Sending hugs your way!

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