Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday linky
party! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one).
My point with each Monday post is, what are YOU doing or going to do today to make your home sing? It can be an attitude or an action. So have fun, do some blog hopping, and link up! Thanks!
Note: We had 45 linkups last week! You guys are awesome! Don't forget to visit one another and try to leave a comment on at least one blog to encourage someone today! :)
On the left sidebar (down towards the bottom) is the "Making Your Home Sing! Monday" button which you are welcome to grab and paste into your post! It is a "no-follow" button.
He was tired and cranky and annoying. He was two, and he did NOT want to go back to sleep. He woke me up in the middle of the night asking for water.
So I went and got him a glass with a little bit of water in it, and when I brought it into his room he started whining and saying "Nooooo!" He didn't want it.
As I started to walk away with the water he cried "Water!!!!!" So I turned back with the water and tried to hand it to him.
He cried "Noooooo!" He didn't want it. Again. Pretty sure you can guess what happened next. I walk away with the water and he cries "Water" and then we start the I-want-it-I-don't-want-it all over again.
In my fatigued state, it never occurred to me to set the sippy cup down next to him and let him drink it when he wanted it. I was annoyed and tired and starting to get angry at this "game" he was playing.
I kept trying to get him to drink the water so I could go back to bed and he kept saying "nooooo!" Finally I had exhausted my patience, and I lifted the glass. I don't think I was thinking, I was reacting and I was lifting my hand so that I could dump the water all over his head, I guess.
As my hand slowly moved, my mind, tired as it was, wasn't THAT tired and I shocked myself into waking up completely enough to stop myself. I don't think I've ever poured water on anyone's head and I certainly wasn't going to start with my two year old. I suppose that's why I shocked myself into wakefulness.
The moment where I was so tired and so angry that I almost dumped a glass of water on my two year old's head.
The moment when I burst into tears at what I almost did.
The moment where I shocked myself at what I might be capable of.
The moment where I grabbed my baby and just held him in my arms and cried and cried.
The moment when I realized I was focusing on the wrong thing. I wasn't focusing on his needs, I was focusing on MY needs.
I wanted to go back to bed. Period. I wanted to go back to bed as quickly as possible.
I was determined to give him that water and get back in my nice warm bed.
Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to serve, I made it a battle.
Instead of seeing it as an act of love, I saw it as an act of war.
Instead of seeing my precious son's face, I saw my nice, warm bed.
Instead of a need, I saw a chore.
I know that my son does not remember that night, but I do. I remember that night because I felt like a failure. I felt like I had failed my son.
I remember that night because, over the years, there have been many times where I felt like a failure again and again as I failed to live up to the image of the "perfect" mom that I desired to be.
I remember that night because as my children grew, I realized that their capacity to love me and forgive me was greater than my capacity to love and forgive myself.
I remember that night because there HAVE been times over the years when I have failed. And I remember a God who restored me. Who loved me in spite of myself. Who was my Hope when I had none, and my Encourager when I needed encouragement.
A God who taught me that it is wrong to put higher expectations on myself than He has for me. A God who taught me that when I focus on my failures, real or perceived, then I am not focusing on Him.
And I remember a sweet, cranky, tired little boy who didn't know what he wanted, and maybe all he really needed was a hug.
What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own "Making Your Home Sing Monday" Linky on your blog.
I am linking up to these parties today: