Friday, August 30, 2013

Are You Breaking Or Repairing Your Marriage Today?



Image courtesy of Michal Marcol at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When my husband and I were first married, we went to one of our favorite places for breakfast one morning.  We sat across the table from an elderly couple who were having their breakfast as well.  They sat across from each other that morning and each read their morning paper, not talking to one another at all.

Right then and there my husband and I looked at one another and made each other a promise that we would never do that.

Now, looking back on many, many years of marriage I can tell you that that couple were probably comfortable enough in their marriage to do that, and that it didn't mean they didn't love each other.

I can also tell you that it's possible that one or both of them aren't "morning" people and therefore had made a mutual decision to be quiet together.  As I am NOT a morning person I can totally relate to that.....

But, after many years of marriage I can also tell you that many times we have to go outside our comfort zones for the betterment of our marriage.

  • We have to talk when we don't feel like talking 
  • Be quiet when we don't feel like being quiet 
  • Say "I'm sorry" when we don't feel like saying "I'm sorry" 
  • Compromise when we don't feel like compromising
  • Love when we don't feel like loving

We have to stretch ourselves and better ourselves.  We have to look at our husband's needs and desires and consider his feelings as well when making a decision.

Even your language changes.  Marriage is no longer me, it's WE.
Even your future changes.  It's no longer just me moving forward, it's US moving forward.


It's an adjustment!  But once you make that adjustment and get that mindset down, it's smooth sailing from there, right?

Wrong.

Because then you add in some kids, or you change jobs or move.  Someone gets sick or injured, or loses a job, or gets a job.  Someone you love dies, another baby is born.......

We make adjustments and bend and flex and stretch throughout our marriages.  The beauty of the marriage tie is that it will bend and stretch and move right along with us.

The marriage tie won't break.   Unless you break it yourself, or unless he breaks it.

It may unravel a bit, but you can quickly braid and bind it up again with the grace and love that God gives you to give to your man.  He has an endless supply.


Image courtesy of nuttakit at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It's a chord of three, you know.  You, your husband, and the Lord.

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
(Ecclesiastes 4:12, NIV)


".....A cord of three strands is not quickly broken..."  It takes work and time to break that chord, and it takes work and time to repair that chord.

What are YOU doing today?  Breaking or repairing?


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I am linking to these linky parties:

Missional Womenhttp://christianmommyblogger.comHappyandBlessedHome.com Please save image and put it in your post or on your sidebar.Faithful Friday Blog Hop Share The LoveTheBetterMom.comWhat Joy Is MinePhotobucketHappy Wives ClubLiving Proverbs 31i should be mopping the floorThe Alabaster Jar 125 Titus 2 Tuesday ButtonCourtship Connection Teaching What Is Good Messy MarriageDucks 'n a RowFamily Home and LifeWise-Woman-Builds  All Things with Purposekatherines corner PhotobucketMissional Womenhttp://christianmommyblogger.comHappyandBlessedHome.com Please save image and put it in your post or on your sidebar.Faithful Friday Blog Hop Share The Love

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Let Them Grow & Let Them Go & MYHSM Linky Party


Making your home sing Mondays


Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday linky party! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). 

My point with each Monday post is, what are YOU doing or going to do today to make your home sing?  It can be an attitude or an action. So have fun, do some blog hopping, and link up!  Thanks!


Topics can include marriage, parenting, encouraging women, organization, cleaning, saving money, our behavior and attitudes, homemaking, homeschooling, recipes....the opportunities are endless.


Note:  We had 90 linkups last week which is awesome!  Don't forget to visit one another and try to leave a comment on at least one blog to encourage someone today!  :)


Image courtesy of gubgib at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I remember when my children were little, it was so comforting to know that I could keep them "safe" to the best of my ability.

I knew where they were at night.  Safe in their own beds.  They were too young to drive and too young to hang out with their friends on their own.  They were HOME.

They were little boys and my husband and I were able to pretty much control their environment and control what we allowed into our homes and control the major influences in their lives (as much as a parent can).

I felt safe having that control. I LIKED having that control.  I continually prayed for them and trusted them into God's hands.  Then I wrapped myself up in my comforting blanket of control.  It was hard to even think of letting go.

I often wondered how a parent coped when their children grew up.  How would I cope when they were out of my control?  How would I handle it when they were out in the world without me?  How would I be able to sleep knowing they were out there driving a car????



You can wrap your child up so tight that they will struggle desperately to get loose.  And you can hold them so loosely that they will struggle desperately to get your attention....it's a balance.

As they begin to grow, you begin to give up a little measure of your control.  You let them play outside alone for the first time.  You let them ride their bike on the sidewalk or street.

They begin to make friends on their own, develop a taste for music, start to have definite opinions about what they want to wear or how they want to style their hair.

I remember when my youngest did not want me to part and comb his hair away from his forehead anymore.  I LOVED his hair all nice and neat and little-man-like, but he wanted it to just lay flat on his head with no "fancy" part.  So I let him wear his hair the way he wanted because it was only hair but my mommy-heart realized my baby was growing.

As our children grow, we begin to grow with them.  We grow in our parenting.  There comes a point where they have to begin to make their own choices, and so we hope and pray that they make the right ones.  We begin to trust them to be away from us.

Sure, sometimes they will make mistakes but we are still there to guide them.  There may be times when they have to work to earn our trust again, and they work hard to do it.

They grow, and WE grow.  We grow in our ability to let them be away from us, and we learn to pray as we watch the clock, and are so thankful when they are back home again.

We grow in our ability to let them take more control as we learn to let go and have less control.  We grow in our ability to let them walk out the door with the car keys and not block the door with our bodies, or stand at the window the whole evening, watching and waiting for their return.

We grow in the ability to realize that life doesn't stop for us the minute they walk out the door.


We grow in our ability to trust them into their Heavenly Father's care, and know that He is worthy of that trust.

We grow in our ability to love them BETTER, because to love them better means to let them grow and let them go.


What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own "Making Your Home Sing Monday" Linky on your blog.


If you don't want to miss any blogs posts, you can subscribe
by 
RSS, Bloglovin, Feedly
Facebook or Email 

I'd love to connect with you!



I am linking up to these linky parties: 


TheBetterMom.comWhat Joy Is MinePhotobucketHappy Wives ClubLiving Proverbs 31i should be mopping the floor photo e70fb310-7eb7-4908-bb0e-cac50857a9bb.jpgThe Alabaster JarThe Life Of Faith photo NEWRIButton275x150_zpsf908716b.jpg 125 Titus 2 Tuesday ButtonCourtship Connection Teaching What Is Good Messy MarriageDucks 'n a RowFamily Home and LifeWise-Woman-Builds  All Things with Purposekatherines corner PhotobucketMissional Womenhttp://christianmommyblogger.comHappyandBlessedHome.com Please save image and put it in your post or on your sidebar.Faithful Friday Blog Hop Share The Love