My point with each Monday post is, what are YOU doing or going to do today to make your home sing? It can be an attitude or an action. So have fun, do some blog hopping, link up and don't forget to give a link back to this post! Thanks!
Note: We had 112 linkups last week which is awesome! Don't forget to visit one another and try to leave a comment on at least one blog to encourage someone today! :)
Does your husband have an annoying habit? Does he leave things lying around the house? Do you beg him, over and over, to pick up after himself? Is it falling on deaf ears? What can we do about it?
Why can't we get our husbands to do what we want them to do? After all, it's not our responsibility to train our husbands. Why should WE have to pick up the socks of a grown man? It's not fair!
Why should we have to load his dishes into the dishwasher when we can just keep bugging him to do it? Why should we have to live with his pigsty of a home office when, if we nag him long enough, he might actually clean it up?
Why can't he just keep the garage clean?????? After all, WE can keep the kitchen clean and we use it a lot more often than he uses that messy garage. Why can't he just "grow up?"
We never want to forget that our husbands do NOT need to obey us, they are not our children and should not be treated as such.
If I am a wife whose husband leaves his socks lying around, I have two choices. I can pick them up, or I can leave them there.
I can choose to be happy or I can dwell on the fact that I have asked him over and over to do something about them. I can choose a happy marriage and choose to ignore those socks, or I can continue to nag at him.
I can choose to be miserable and ruin our evening by having a knock down drag out fight, yet again, about his "refusal" to pick up those socks. Or I can choose to say nothing, pick up the socks for him and enjoy my evening with my hubby.
So can you. Of course, you can also choose ( and in my opinion really SHOULD choose), at some point, to tell hubby how important it is to you that he picks up those socks daily. But, you've probably already told him about it. Over and over.
Some things just aren't worth fighting over and bringing tension to a marriage.
You can make it a battle and fight with him and nag him and refuse to speak with him until he does it, or you can make it a blessing and pick it up for him, and PRAY for him and his needs while you do it. You can turn it into an opportunity to bless him or curse him. It's your choice.
It seems reasonable to have the expectation that your husband would pick up after himself. He's a big boy, right? I mean, it's not like he changed diapers, chased toddlers, wiped noses or did laundry all day. He got to leave the house and hang out with grownups all day, that's almost like "play time," right?
He ought to be able to pick up those socks, put away the newspaper, throw away the dental floss, load his own dishes into the dishwasher, right?
When he DOESN'T do it, it can be frustrating. It can feel like he doesn't care about your home. He doesn't care about YOU.
He doesn't care about what's important to you. If he did, he'd do what you asked, right? He doesn't care that you've worked hard all day. He's doing it on purpose just to annoy you because he KNOWS that it does. If he really loved you, he would do it, right?
Is that what it feels like to you sometimes? Like hubby just gets to "play" all day at work? Like he doesn't love you enough to pick up his socks?
Is it possible that it's just not as big an issue to him as it is to you? Is it possible he has good intentions but then forgets because he hasn't developed the good habits that YOU have?
Did you ever think that maybe, he keeps forgetting because he doesn't see is as a problem so he's not seeking a solution?
My husband and I used to fight over the fact that he did not keep his home study as clean as I felt it should be. I wanted it as clean as the rest of the house.
I felt that his office was a reflection of ME. I saw it as a place of order, organization, and a tribute to my ability to manage my home effectively. My husband saw it as a place where he paid bills and occasionally worked from home.
I wanted his home office clean, orderly and organized and I wanted it to STAY that way. My husband just wanted to be able to have his papers on the desk where he could SEE them, as he is a very visual person that way. Out of sight is out of mind with him. If he can SEE it, he can do it. If he doesn't see it, he will forget. So he likes to leave things out as a reminder.
So at LEAST once a month we would argue about his messy study, with me trying to impress upon him my desire to have it clean so that we could leave the door open when guests were over. My husband would try to say that it was o.k. to have ONE messy room in the house, it wasn't hurting anything. Everything didn't have to be perfect. I didn't agree.
It became a big issue with me and one in which I had to take it to the Lord in prayer quite often, as my frustration would spill over into anger and nagging and resentment toward my husband.
When I let it go, I let go of the annoyance and anger that steals my peace.
I let go of the mountain that I had made out of a molehill.
Is it possible that you have your own annoying habits that you forget about? Absolutely! (At least, I know that I do) ;)
You can't change your husband. But you can change you. GOD can change you.
You can't MAKE him pick up his socks. But you can choose to ignore it and hope that they find their way into the laundry "magically" by themselves. Or you can pick them up FOR him and see it as an act of love and service.
The choices is yours. The battle is yours. Who are you fighting against? Your husband or your own desires?
Is it fair? No, maybe not, but does that really matter? Life is not fair, so let's stop keeping score. What matters is that sometimes we have to compromise in marriage. Sometimes you compromise, and sometimes he does. What matters is the marriage, not who picks up the socks.
When we serve our families, we are serving the Lord. If you are struggling with your feelings about your husband this morning and can't quite get yourself to do anything for him, can you do it for the Lord? Can you take your feelings in prayer to the Lord, and ask Him to change YOUR heart?
What act of service can you do for your husband today to make your home sing?
What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own "Making Your Home Sing Monday" Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post so that others can join the fun!
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Also, We Are That Family