Friday, June 7, 2013

The Day Motherhood Did Not Live Up To My Expectations



One day I held my fussy baby, looked out the window, sighed and thought "Is this it?  Is this my life?  Is this all I get in life, Lord?  This is it? There must be more to life, Lord."

I felt empty.  I felt discouraged.  I felt that motherhood was not living up to its expectations.

I felt that I wasn't living up to its expectations.

How could I want anything more than this precious baby that I was holding in my arms?  Why did I feel like I was missing out on something?  Why did I feel so unfulfilled?

Should I go back to work?  Was that it?  Would work fulfill me?

At work I'd had a very good job.  I received great reviews from my boss, made more money than my husband and although the work was stressful and a challenge, I thrived at it.  After my first child was born I longed to be home with him so I quit.

I still wanted to be home.  I didn't want to go back to work, I knew that.  But I just felt like there had to be more to life than diapers, and wiping noses, and picking up toys and dishes, lots of dishes.  Dishes and diapers.  The future stretched out before me and I didn't feel confident.

My self-esteem was tied up in my home. If things ran smoothly, I felt good about myself.  If things didn't go so well that day I felt bad about myself.

My self-worth went up and down with the emotions and events of my day.


On a good day I felt vibrant and confident and I could take on the world.  I was mother, hear me roar.  This particular day found me staring out the window, holding my baby and crying silently, feeling like a failure and wondering if this was all I would ever get out of life.  Dishes and diapers.   

Where was the joy?

Sometimes we forget how important dishes and diapers are. Sometimes we get caught up in the emotion and we forget that life is made of moments like these. 

Every moment of life is incredible.  We are walking, breathing miracles.  We are made for a purpose.

Whatever we do, whether it's working inside or outside the home, whether it's wiping noses, changing diapers, driving to soccer games or checking homework, whatever we do is important.  The Lord showed me that, that tearful day.  We are investing our lives in our families, and that stands for something.

It stands for a woman who cares.  Who is making a difference right where she's at, because she knows that God has placed her there.  And if God has placed her there, then she is in the best place that she can be.

So where is the joy?  It's in kissing an owie to "make it better."  It's in your baby's arms when they reach out for you.  It's in your preschooler's tight hugs around the neck and whispers of  "I love you, mama."

It's the face of your child, searching for your face in a crowd, just to make sure that you are still there, watching them.  It's in the "Wow, mom, I'm TALLER than you now!" and the "Mom, can I borrow the car keys?"

It's in the dishes and the diapers when you know that you are doing them for someone you love.

Dishes and diapers are important. But life isn't about dishes and diapers.  Yes, there IS more to life, mom!  And you're holding it right now in your arms.  You kissed it goodnight last night, and you'll be yelling at it to get up in the morning for school.


When we only focus on what we do, we will feel discouraged and empty and unfulfilled, because dishes and diapers never fulfilled anybody.


When we focus on who we're doing it for, we will find the joy.  We do it for them, and we do it for Him.


"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9


So don't grow weary!  Don't get lost in the dishes and diapers and laundry.  You may not see the benefits of what you're doing now but they are there.  You just need to remember to look for them.  You are building for the future - your future,  their future.

Are you there today, my friend?  Is motherhood not living up to YOUR expectations?  Don't give up.  There IS more to life, mom.  And it's staring you right in the face.

Let go of the mundane and embrace the incredible.  You are a mom.  You are amazing!


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Be sure and come back Monday and link up to the Making Your Home Sing Monday  linky party!


I am linking up to these linky parties today:

Missional Women http://christianmommyblogger.com HappyandBlessedHome.com Please save image and put it in your post or on your sidebar. The Life Of FaithTheBetterMom.comWhat Joy Is MinePhotobucketHappy Wives ClubExceptionalistic photo NEWRIButton275x150_zpsf908716b.jpg i should be mopping the floor photo e70fb310-7eb7-4908-bb0e-cac50857a9bb.jpg125 Titus 2 Tuesday ButtonCourtship ConnectionTeaching What Is Good Messy MarriageDucks 'n a RowFamily Home and Lifehttp://www.wildernesswife.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Wicked-Good-Wednesday-Blog-Hop-Button.jpg Wise-Woman-Builds All Things with Purposekatherines corner Photobucket

Also, We Are That Family

28 comments:

  1. Love what you have shared here. It is the Who not the what. May I remember that today as I tackle the ironing :) I visited from Faith Filled Friday.

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    1. So glad you stopped by! Make sure you do the ironing in front of the t.v! ;)

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  2. What a great post, Nan. I truly believe that being a mother is the best job a woman can ever have!

    Love,
    Hope

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    1. Thanks, Hope! Motherhood is not easy but it sure has some great rewards! :)

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  3. What a great reminder that I needed today - feeling overwhelmed by the lack of relaxation with traveling with kids! So much to think about..and yes, I'm lucky to have so much to think about.

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    1. Thank you, Tamara! I'm glad it encouraged you. Yes, traveling with kids can be rough. Lots of bathroom breaks and bags with stuff for them to do but they still get crabby! ;)

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  4. This is so beautiful! I just blogged about something similar. Wish I could have read this about 20 years ago! We all have traveled that road and have received great encouragement from the Lord in our divine purpose as mothers.

    mommamindy.wordpress.com

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    1. Yes, we've all had those days, haven't we? Amen to great encouragement from the Lord!

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  5. Such a great post and always a good reminder for the back of your mind. Especially because motherhood is so hard at times but we do it because our kids are awesome and the times that are amazing always outweigh the bad ones!

    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
    Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. :)

    ¤´¨)
    ¸.•*´
    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
    www.raising-reagan.com

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    1. Yes, those amazing times are what makes the harder times all worth well! Best job in the world! ;)

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  6. So hoping you will come and link up and encourage even more moms ...


    Join the Melody ...
    http://justsarahdawn.blogspot.com/2013/06/time-out-time-in.html

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    1. Thanks for the reminder! I totally thought your linky party was on Wednesdays.

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  7. What a nice reminder, thanks!

    Thank you for linking up to Raising Imperfection!
    Make sure to check back on Friday to see if you were featured.
    Leslie
    www.violetimperfection.com

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  8. This reminds me of a song by Scotty McCreery I love called Dirty Dishes. Have you heard it? If not, you should YouTube it. I think you'll like it. :)

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    1. No, I've never heard it. Yes, I will check youtube, thanks!

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  9. What a great reminder! Love your post! I am a new from southern charm! I would love for you to check out my blog and hopefully follow me back! Nicole

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    1. Thanks, Nicole! I would love to pop over and pay you a visit! :)

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  10. Oh I love what you have to say here! Yes, sometimes it feels like we are missing out on something. But God has called to raise His children.

    Thanks for linking up at Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday!

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    1. Yes He has, Jenifer. And what a high calling it is! :) Thanks for hosting today!

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  11. So many times I get caught in the rut of focusing on what I'm doing and not on Who I'm doing it for and every time I change my perspective to Christ, I feel the encouragement welling up in me. There's so much freedom and joy in giving when we give for the right purpose to the right people and Person. I love what you are challenging us to do, Nan! It's so needed!

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    1. Amen, Beth! He is always faithful to encourage us!

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  12. This was such an encouragement, Nan. Thanks!! I appreciate such an uplifting post. Thanks for sharing this over at WholeHearted Home this week.

    Have a terrific day!!

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  13. So crazy blessed to have found you. Your words encourage me and countless others. We just started this momma notes, and I'm a bit excited.

    Thanks for joining the melody! I do hope you will continue to bless us with your words and joy as we just started the momma notes.

    I jot some notes each Monday, but it's not a have to link up on Monday sort of thing. I know the filled to the brim momma schedules. LInk up any day of the week when you have a moment. no rules. just moms. sharing our notes. creating a melody.

    Happy day,
    Sarah

    http://justsarahdawn.blogspot.com/2013/05/momma-notes.html

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  14. This is really great.

    I remember feeling the same way once, looking at my children and thinking, "When is your real mother coming to look after you?" I just felt so inadequate. That was many years and many children ago.

    Thankfully the Lord is MORE THAN ENOUGH and makes up for what we lack.

    Thanks for this post!

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    1. Yes, He is faithful when we are weary!

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