Have you ever had something that's bothering you and you just wanted to unload it on your husband the minute he comes home from work?
How's that workin' for ya? How's it working for him?
I remember going away for a weekend once to a women's retreat. When I got home and walked through the door my teenage son looked thrilled to see me. "Mom's home!" he shouted to his dad and brother with a huge smile on his face. I was so pleased that he was so happy that I was home. Then he said it:
I hadn't even put down my suitcase yet! I said, "Can I at least put down my suitcase and have you give me a hug and kiss first?"
I have stated in the past that I greet my husband at the door, or I try to, to welcome him home every day. At the very least I will pop my head around the corner and say "Hi Honey!" I always ask him how his day went.
The reason I do this is because I want him to know that I'm glad he's home. It also keeps me from unloading on him the minute he comes in the door. When the kids were little I had a habit of telling him the "highlights" of my day before he even took his coat off.
The thing was, it all came out like verbal vomit and was mostly me complaining. You can imagine how thrilling it would be to be welcomed home like that.
You can imagine he was even more thrilled to have me call him at work, several times a day, and vent about who slammed whose fingers in the door, who poured milk all over the dog, who broke the lamp, who got mad at his brother and.......you get the idea.
Poor hubby. Trying to concentrate on his job and then I pull his attention away a few times a day with stuff that COULD have waited until he got home.
But of course, the MINUTE he got home I was unloading on him and he hadn't even set his keys down yet.
Welcome home, honey!
I know it would confuse my husband when I called him at work. He'd sit there and probably think "What can I possibly do about this right now? I'm at work!?"
I just wanted him to listen. And listen he did.
But if I'd been listening I would have realized how difficult I was making it for HIM.
Not only breaking his concentration but giving him a problem that he couldn't solve. That I didn't WANT him to solve and didn't expect him to solve.
Then giving him a great big welcome home with me complaining and unloading on him faster than he could unload his coat and briefcase.
The problem isn't that I wanted to vent. The problem is that I couldn't WAIT to vent. I waited for it, I planned it, I rehearsed it all day, and I looked forward to it with anticipation.
The problem isn't that I wanted to vent. The problem is that my timing was wrong. I had waited all day and just "couldn't" wait a moment longer, and so hit hubby in the face with it when he walked through the door. What a homecoming for him to look forward to.
The problem isn't that I wanted to vent. The problem is that venting was all I wanted to do. I didn't see it as something I needed to pray about.
The problem isn't that I wanted to vent. The problem is that I really didn't care about how my husband's day was. I only cared about MY day.
I found a definition of vent and one of the definitions said it was "to rise to the surface (of water) to breathe." Of course, it was talking about marine mammals.
But isn't that what we do when we vent? We unload all those feelings and emotions and just rise to the surface of our hearts just to breathe?
When you feel the need to vent, what do you do first? Do you turn to God or do you turn to facebook? Are you reaching for a friend or are you reaching for God? Are you picking up your phone or are you picking up your Bible? I'm afraid that I reach for that phone too many times.
I know that the times when I take it to the Lord FIRST are the times when I am able to calm down and am able to keep things in perspective and be more encouraged and upbeat by the time my hubby comes home than the times where I just spew it at him the minute he walks through the door. I also know that it's more peaceful for him, too.
Ladies, does your husband look forward to coming home? Does he come home to a place of rest or a war zone? Does he come home every day to a smile or tears?
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