Thursday, May 2, 2013

"Touch This And You Die," And Other Great Examples Of Motherly Love


Today I found out where all the pink erasers go to die.

Seems like I'm always buying those things because over the years the kids were always losing them.  So every year I buy a new one, and then it disappears.  Again.

I LOVE those big pink erasers.  Don't you?  So why do they keep disappearing?  I should put my name on them.

I mark my masking tape.  I really do.  But it doesn't do any good.

I mark it "Mom" in big fat letters.  Sometimes I mark "Do not remove" or "Please return." 


But what I really want to mark on it is "Touch this and you die."

Somehow that whole "dying" thing doesn't quite fit in there with good ole' motherly love.


But WHY do they have to touch my stuff???????  They have their own stuff!

We have other rolls of masking tape but, of course, no one knows where they are.  So they come after mine. By they I mean "no one" because no one ever admits to touching it.

So apparently it has legs and walked off.  Who knew?

We have other scissors but, of course, no one knows where they are either.  So no one comes and steals mine.  "No one" also lost my stapler recently and so I had to buy another one.

That new stapler should also be marked "touch this and die." 

I might just pull a fast one on "no one" and write "This stapler will self destruct in five seconds if you don't return it," or maybe I'll leave a note that says "Warning: Danger!!!!  Use this at your own risk."

I might just hide their stapler, masking tape and scissors.  But I'll have to find them first because I'm sure "no one" had them last.  I'm telling you it's THEM against ME.

I think the problem is that I mark my stuff "Mom" and then they view it upside down and it becomes "Wow."  Or rather, "woW."

Who can resist using something marked "Wow?"


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6 comments:

  1. My husband got so tired of me whining about MY scissors and my pens, one year he went out and bought 20 pairs of scissors and 40 pens. When they disappeared within a few weeks, he seriously understood the battle I undergo each day. I hide my stuff. I also refuse to share some things. When I buy them EACH their OWN fingernail clipper for Christmas EVERY year, they have NO excuse to use mine.....

    but don't mind me.....I'll get over it....

    mommamindy.wordpress.com



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    1. Oddly enough my nail clippers never seem to disappear, lol!

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  2. Oh this isn't even funny!! My pens always came up missing. Now my best tweezers (not that my daughter discovered I tweeze my eyebrows, LOL) Since I don't weigh much more than she does, my fave black shirt will come up missing and I will finally realize WHERE it is...on someone else's body!! And my rubber slippers...and!!

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    1. My hubby was always complaining because someone was always taking his crocs. Me included, lol! He always leaves them in the basket by the door and we all go shoeless inside the house.

      So whenever one of us wanted or needed to go outside we'd slip on his crocs. (They are way to big for me but who cares?)

      So we'd all be outside doing something and he'd come to get his crocs and they'd be gone, lol!

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  3. I laughed out loud at "woW" as I imaged my kids looking up at all my stuff, no wonder! I'm tall and my stuff is away up there... "woW" makes perfect sense. Too funny. Thanks. :)

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    1. I once asked someone why she wrote "wow" on her bottle cap and she looked at me and started laughing.

      She had written "mom" and I was reading it upside down, lol! One of these days I'm going to do a blog post about that, haha.

      Delete

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