Wednesday, May 15, 2013
It Must Be A Man Thing
Sometimes you have the best after-dinner conversations when you're married.
Me: "There's a bug on the table! There's a BUG on the table!"
Hubby: "It's just a little one."
Hubby: "So kill it!"
Me: "Kill it? ME? With what, my finger?"
Hubby: "You could get a tissue. But just use your finger instead."
Me: "Use my finger? And get bug guts all over my finger and the table?"
Hubby: "Meh! That's what soap is for."
I am amazed that my hubby can mash a gnat with his finger and not get all grossed out. I can't do that. It must be a guy thing.
For that matter, after my hubby does it I feel compelled to ask him if he's washed his hands. I mean, if you're going to have bug guts on your finger, then shouldn't you wash your finger afterward? Isn't that the law?
Perhaps guys don't worry about bug guts when the bug is the size of a gnat. Or rather, when the bug IS a gnat.
I always wash my hands whenever I take out the garbage, but come to think of it.......I don't know if my hubby does that or not. It's never occurred to me to ask him and I don't usually stalk him when he takes out the garbage.
But now I feel a serious urge to go wake him up from a sound sleep and ask him if he's washed his hands. Do you think he'd mind?
I know he washes them after all the "important" stuff but aren't bug guts important too?
I think, before a woman gets married, she ought to ask her future husband all the hugely serious questions, such as:
"Do you wash your hands after getting bug guts on them?"
"Do you know whether or not this scarf is the right shade for me?"
"Do you even know what I mean when I say "right shade?"
"Which way do you think the toilet paper should face? The right way or the wrong way?"
"When I say 'It's nothing' do you really believe it's nothing?"
"Do you mind if I steal half your french fries instead of buying my own?"
"Do you have the number of the local florist on speed dial?"
"Do you mind sharing the closet? Instead of 50/50 is 95/5 acceptable? How about 98/2?"
"Do you even NEED a closet?"
"You don't mind if I steal all the blankets do you? How do you feel about your pillow?"
"How good are you at reading minds? What am I thinking right now?"
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