Thursday, April 4, 2013

Why I Found Myself Loading The Dishwasher At 2:00 In The Morning, AKA Why A Screaming Baby Is Not Like A Garbage Disposal

We now have Neflix.  We got one month free and I am enamored with it, so it's no surprise that the other night I fell asleep watching t.v.  I don't watch huge amounts of t.v. so I've been having fun with it.

I eventually woke up and you all know that yucky feeling when you wake up and realize that you have to get up in order to go to bed?  Yeah, it's like that.

It's times like that that I wish I could just twitch my nose or cross my arms and blink myself somewhere else rather than having to walk there.  Wouldn't that be convenient?

I went into the kitchen to turn off the light and noticed that there were dishes in the sink and sighed.  Ugh.  This is what you get when you let the kitchen cleaning go until "later" and then later never comes because you forgot.  I blame the t.v. and quite possibly the entire cast of Primeval. What can I say?  I like dinosaurs.

This is another time when I wish I could twitch or blink those dishes into oblivion.  Or maybe smash them with a hammer but then I'd just have to buy new ones.

Maybe I could convince my husband that somebody broke into the house and smashed all the dishes in the sink and then left.  Somehow I don't think he'd fall for that though.  Would you?

How come people never break into your house and clean it for you?  They always want to take.  Why don't they give???

Now THERE'S someone that I would never complain about.  Can you imagine calling 911 and reporting that someone broke in and made your bed and did your dishes?

I can just hear that hysterical phone call now:

"I'm reporting a break-in.  Yes, it was awful and I'm really shaken up about it.  Somebody broke in and dusted and vacuumed, cleaned the bathrooms, made my bed, mopped the floors, and cleaned up the kitchen.  And they even had the audacity to leave dinner on the table for me with candles and flowers.  Oh, and chocolate.  They left chocolate!!!!  I want them found and arrested immediately!"

You know, you wouldn't even have to break in.  People would line up to leave doors unlocked everywhere for that person.  Starting with me.

Anyway, back to my night, I didn't want to wake up to a sink full of dirty dishes and start my morning off already behind.  So I decided to face down those dishes now and began loading the dishwasher.

After it was loaded I did a few dishes by hand, rinsed out the sink and turned on the garbage disposal.  Well guess what?  I missed a spoon.  Now, where do you suppose that spoon was?

Yup.  You guessed it.  In the garbage disposal. Ugh.  Double Ugh.

Now you all KNOW what kind of a loud, horrible noise a spoon makes when the garbage disposal is running.  It makes an ugly grinding noise.

Now imagine that noise at 2 a.m.  You're welcome!  It is just too early in the morning to hear a noise like that and let me tell you, it will wake you up like nothing else can.

Except maybe a screaming baby and we don't have any of those at our house.  At least with a garbage disposal you can turn it off by flipping a switch!

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  1. Hahaha, you are hilarious and completely right.
    I do not like falling asleep on the couch and then getting up to go to bed - ugh!!!!

    Now, for me, if I stayed up and loaded the dishwasher and did some dishes, I would be done with sleep for the next two hours. That would wake me up too much after my "nap" on the couch.
    So in this case, I could have to leave the dishes and do them in the morning. =(

    1. Just getting up and moving around, brushing my teeth and taking my nighttime medicine is enough to wake me up, lol! So I figured I might as well do the dishes while I'm awake, lol!

  2. We lived with my then bachelor brother for six months after our house fire. We knew where the spare key was hidden. A few weeks after we had moved back into our own house, I took a day off of work and went back to his house. Yup, he had resorted back to his bachelor habits. :-D. I vacuumed the whole house. I striped his bed, washed his sheets and made his bed. I cleaned the bathrooms. I did up the dishes. And I made a pan of homemade brownies and left them cooling on the now empty counter.

    He called me that night. Said he pulled into his garage, opened his car door and thought, 'humm, something smells yummy', then reminded himself he couldn't be smelling anything because we had moved out. "Then when I opened the house door the smell intensified. I looked up and the kitchen floor was shiny and there was a pan of something sitting on a hot pad on the counter. The wonderful Jeannie named Cheryl had returned! :-D"

    I agree with Tandis, If I stayed awake long enough and got my brain involved enough to clean up the dishes/kitchen, I wouldn't be going back to bed for a couple of hours. Thankfully Pinterest is available any 'ole time. o:-p.

    Lately there occasionally has been screaming little ones in the middle of the night. Oh do I wish they came equipped with a turn off button, like a garbage disposal does! Rocking them while singing to them usually works, but then my brain has forced itself to stay awake..... aw the quandary's of life.

    This is 'Lucy', signing off...

    p.s. - I was surprised that you didn't once mention using an empty laundry basket in this posting. :-D !! You do have somebody getting your daughter-in-love-to-be a whole stack of them as a shower present, right? o;-p

    1. I do love me some laundry baskets but I'm not sure she understands my affinity for them, lol!

      What a sweet thing to do for your brother. My mil once came into my house and did my dishes one day right after we were married.

      My fil told her she was meddling but I loved it, lol! ;)

  3. Replies
    1. So last night I cleaned up my kitchen but forgot to run the dishwasher so it's running now, lol!

  4. Oh how I wish that someone would come do my dishes for me each evening. :) That is the one part of my evening routine that gives me fits - but I am working on it. Great post.

    1. Once my children got old enough I had them take turns doing the dishes every night. One child was dinner helper and the other was kitchen cleanup.

      We all loaded our own dishes into the d.w. and helped put the food away, but then the "kitchen cleanup" person had to load the serving dishes into the d.w. and wash whatever was remaining,plus wipe down the counters and sweep the floor, etc. So no more dishes for me!

      But now, I'm back to doing dishes again as my children are usually gone at night, one works evenings and the other has a lot of ministry stuff he does.

      They help when they can!

  5. Oh my gosh! IF I heard that at 2am, I think I would have peed my pants! I've done that lately too...fall asleep (or want to) watching tv down in the basement. I want to stay there because it's quiet and cool. Getting up to make the trek up 2 flights of stairs is daunting...but if I didn't, the hubs would miss me. :)

    1. I know what you mean. I always have to check on my mom before I go to bed because sometimes she leaves things on that shouldn't be on (like a burner on the stove or even leaves the faucet running).

      So if I fall asleep then I have to go downstairs and check on her and walk around and make sure everything is off, and I don't like making that "long" trek downstairs, lol!

  6. Totally reminds me of the movie Apollo 13, where the wife says, "I'm too tired to clean up. Let's sell the house." And Tom Hanks says, "Okay, let's sell the house." That's a line I bust out with the Hubs about once a week.

    Enjoyed every word of this post. For the record, I never clean dishes at 2 a.m. You therefore have more self-discipline than me. (I? Can never remember which it is in that instace, even though I have a DEGREE in editing...Where's grammar girl when I need her?)

  7. I saw that movie but I don't remember that line. I'll have to remember it now, lol! As for grammar I find that I throw a lot of the rules out the window when I'm blogging and when I'm commenting, lol! So you are safe with me.....or is it I...... ;)


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