If you really want to freak me out file your fingernails in front of me. Seriously. I am not kidding. Just whip out that file and start filing away at those suckers.
My mom is famous for trapping me in the car and then all of a sudden she has GOT to file a nail. It cannot wait. A doctor never had more dedication than she does to that nail at that moment. Fortunately or maybe unfortunately, she's not driving. I am.
I wonder if I ever crash the car at that moment what I should put on the insurance form. Attacked by a nail? A nail suddenly appeared out of nowhere? I didn't see the nail coming? It was the nail's fault? The nail got in my way? I tried to turn and the nail came out of nowhere? The nail cut me off? The nail ran a red light? The nail was in my eyes?
It's like fingers on a chalkboard to me. If you have no idea what that sounds like, ask someone to scratch their fingers on a chalkboard near you so that you can hear it.
Go ahead. I'll wait.
It's no better the few times when I go and get a manicure on my own nails.
The gal brings out her file which is usually about 5 feet long and proceeds to file my nails, the noise it makes would rival a jet taking off.
Yes, it's that bad and you know that I would NEVER ever ever ever EVER exaggerate for a blog post. Right?
I just sit there and grit my teeth and pray it will all be over soon. I usually try to pull my hand back at which point she leaps onto my chest and just sits there, laughing maniacally, holding me down with her body weight while's she's holding onto my fingers like a vise. At that point I can hear her whispering "Die suckah!"
Again, you know that I would NEVER ever ever ever EVER exaggerate for a blog post. Right?
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