Wednesday, March 20, 2013

It's Like Fingers On A Chalkboard......

If you really want to freak me out file your fingernails in front of me.  Seriously.  I am not kidding.  Just whip out that file and start filing away at those suckers.

Ith sets my tith on suth an edgth that I can'th eben hawdly tawk or type abowt ith.


My mom is famous for trapping me in the car and then all of a sudden she has GOT to file a nail.  It cannot wait.  A doctor never had more dedication than she does to that nail at that moment.  Fortunately or maybe unfortunately,  she's not driving.  I am. 

I wonder if I ever crash the car at that moment what I should put on the insurance form.  Attacked by a nail? A nail suddenly appeared out of nowhere?  I didn't see the nail coming?  It was the nail's fault?  The nail got in my way?  I tried to turn and the nail came out of nowhere?  The nail cut me off?  The nail ran a red light?  The nail was in my eyes?

It's like fingers on a chalkboard to me. If you have no idea what that sounds like, ask someone to scratch their fingers on a chalkboard near you so that you can hear it.

Go ahead.  I'll wait.


It's no better the few times when I go and get a manicure on my own nails.

The gal brings out her file which is usually about 5 feet long and proceeds to file my nails, the noise it makes would rival a jet taking off.

Yes, it's that bad and you know that I would NEVER ever ever ever EVER exaggerate for a blog post.  Right?

I just sit there and grit my teeth and pray it will all be over soon.  I usually try to pull my hand back at which point she leaps onto my chest and just sits there, laughing maniacally, holding me down with her body weight while's she's holding onto my fingers like a vise.  At that point I can hear her whispering "Die suckah!"

Again, you know that I would NEVER ever ever ever EVER exaggerate for a blog post.  Right?

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  1. You too, Nan? I can't STAND the nail file, I can't even file my own nails :) And when I read your title I got goosebumps because I was thinking of the sound nails make on a chalkboard - thanks!

    I hope you're doing well :)

    Love and hugs,

    1. Ooooops, sorry about the goosebumps, lol!

      I am getting better, thank you! :)

  2. Don't let me see you lick a tissue or paper towel, or chew on a popsicle stick! AAUUGGHHH!!!
    But then, why would you?!
    You are too hilarious, Nan!

    1. So true, why would I, lol! I'm also wondering why anyone would lick a tissue or paper towel, lol!

  3. Haha, I don't like them but I think you don't like them more. Very funny!!

    1. That's true. I guess I win in this case, haha! :)

  4. Worse than that for me is being stuck in a car with someone mindlessly humming--I mean about 3 notes over and over. And why don't I tell him? Because he would do it even more just to aggravate me! So I pretend I don't notice.

    1. I have stood in line with people who suddenly break out into musical theater songs and I just don't get it. I just wouldn't feel comfortable singing in public while in line, lol!

  5. Nan, you should have found a You Tube video on someone scratching their nails on a chalk board!! These 'kids' don't know what a blackboard is!! Ha ha!

    I don't file mt nails. Can I ride in your car so we can go to Panera Bread and Laugh over your stories????


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