Friday, March 1, 2013

Do You Have A Favorite Eye (AKA The Eyes Have It)


Have you ever had this horrifying thing happen to you?  You are listening to someone, staring into their eyes and suddenly a thought goes through your head.

Which eye do you look into?


You can't look into both eyes.  You have to choose one.  Either that or you have to rapidly switch back and forth between both eyes, at which point the person doing the talking is going to wonder why you look so shifty-eyed all of a sudden.



Pretty soon you start to panic.  Which eye do you look at?  What if you offend the other eye?  It's too much responsibility for one eye......I mean for one person.

So you choose one eye and gaze intently at it.  It feels weird and you wonder how you did it before. You also wonder if they realize that you are staring specifically at that eye.

So you switch to their other eye and start staring at it instead.

You also wonder which eye of yours THEY are staring at.  Do they have a favorite eye? 

What if they have a favorite eye?  How can they have a favorite eye and should your other eye be jealous?

What if they're looking at you right now, looking at their favorite eye?  Which one of your eyes is their favorite eye and why?  Can you see and figure out which one of your eyes they're staring at?


Pretty soon you have:

  1. Lost all control of your mind
  2. Lost track of the conversation
  3. Start nodding your head with no idea what you're nodding at or agreeing to.
  4. May have volunteered to make 5,000 cupcakes for the school's bake sale because you weren't listening.
  5. Managed to make them wonder what's wrong with them because you are staring at them so intently.
  6. Started to make them feel more and more uncomfortable because of your intense gaze into their eyes.
  7. Caused them to start absently wiping at their face to remove an imaginary smear or piece of dirt that they wonder if you're staring at instead.
  8. Made them lose track of the conversation because they are now concerned about an invisible mark on their face that, apparently, only you can see.
  9. Caused both of you to keep talking but now neither one of you is paying attention to the other.  
  10. Realized that the conversation is now an entire waste of time but you can't end it because you weren't listening.  What if the person just said they lost their job, their dog died and their boyfriend broke up with them and you say "Wow, I'm so happy for you!" and walk away?
  11. Accepted that you're stuck talking to them until THEY end it.  But they can't and won't because you have been such a good listener that they are wondering what it was they said that was so interesting.
  12. Prompted them to have one finger on the emergency dial to 911 because of your intense stare and shifting your eyes back and forth.
  13. Might possibly have just got engaged to be married right then and there because you were gazing intently into each other's eyes and isn't that what people do right before they get engaged?
  14. Decided that from now on you are going to only talk to people who are wearing sunglasses.
  15. Found yourself screaming "Noooooo!" the last time someone spoke to you and decide to only speak to people with your eyes closed from now on.

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12 comments:

  1. You did it again and delivered a terrifically funny post!! Thanks Nan for starting the day off with a bang!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, my friend. I know it's a bit off the wall but I had fun writing it! ;)

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  2. Yes, yes, but why does it happen sometimes and not other times? And what can we do to stop it from happening? What do we do when it does happen? Come on, Nan, you named the problem. Help me with the solution! Before I do this the next time, if you please.
    Dewena

    P.S. Re your dishwasher loading post--do you have to sneak and rearrange the dishwasher after your husband has loaded it so he won't get his feelings hurt, or worst yet, refuse to load it someday when you desperately need him to?

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    Replies
    1. I know, it is true that it happens sometimes and yet not other times!

      I don't go behind them and rearrange as long as they got everything into the dishwasher. But if they DIDN'T I totally go behind and rearrange so I can get more in, lol!

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  3. WHAT A RELIEF!!! You have no idea how 'ME' this blog was. I thought I was the only one to have this issue. It's worse with certain people I talk to, not sure why that is. And people who have a "lazy eye"... oh that really kills me. Then I feel terrible because i feel like I'm doubly hurting their feelings. Can people tell which eye you are looking at when you talk to them? Oh dear. Oh dear. I panic for sure!!!
    Hilarious post.
    I am relieved I am not the only one!!!!

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    Replies
    1. I don't know. I wonder if you CAN tell what eye they're looking at. Kind of makes you want to try it doesn't it? Let's TRY it, lol!

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  4. I keep looking back and forth at each eye back and forth back and forth. ;) lol~!

    You commented about my vinegar/Dawn/Water cleaner...There is no residue and no rewiping the floors at all! With pine oil and Fantastic I was slipping and sliding and I couldn't stand it. I've been using this since I first posted this and haven't gone back!

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    1. So you don't have to rinse? That is awesome! Thanks for getting back to me on it.

      Delete
  5. Btw,

    You've got to try making your own laundry detergent! First, it's fun! ;) Second it saves bundles of dollars! I'll come back and link up with you on Monday!

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    1. Oh wonderful! I'll look forward to it!

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  6. Oh wow~ I promise I'm not spamming you... lol... We're ministry too.

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    1. Spam me all you want, lol! You're ministry too? I must have missed that. Awesome!

      Delete

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