Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The Dishwasher Gene

I can pack the dishwasher better than my husband can.  I can cram MANY more dishes in there.  I can pack the dishwasher better than my sons can too.

I think it's genetic.  Some "dishwasher" gene handed down to them from their father, and his father before him, and his father before him, and so on.

You won't find anything about the dishwasher gene in the history books.  I think it's one of those best kept secrets that no one ever talks about.  But it's a known fact.

I heard it from my mother's sister's doctor's nurse's brother's vet's receptionist's hair stylist.  And everyone knows that a hair stylist sees and talks to lots of people throughout the day and so she knows everything that's going on everywhere.  At least, mine does.

For some reason men, at least MY men, look at the racks and all the dividers and places in the dishwasher and think " can I possibly waste as much space as possible?"

See?  It's a gift.

It's also the man-pack thing.  Their motto is:

"He who loads the LEAST dishes wins."

Whereas a woman's motto is:

"No dish left behind."

Silverware, however, is a different story.  The dishwasher gene tells them "By all means, let's load ALL the silverware in the first slot.  Why go to all the trouble to bend a bit further and put the silverware in any of the other slots?" 

It further whispers in their ear, "Seriously.  Why bend at all when there's a perfectly good slot right in front just waiting for you. Yes, let's just stick ALL the silverware in the first slot and be done with it."

Then there's the pan theory.  The pan theory is when you put two big pans in the dishwasher that really don't fit, thus eliminating all other possibility of loading any other dishes in there.  Thereby making the wife hand wash eight plates, six bowls, a couple of serving dishes and several glasses and cups, all so that TWO pans can fit.

The dishwasher gene says "Don't worry.  It will all pan out in the end."

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  1. From a household with no automatic dishwasher, my husband's dish gene says, "Ignore them and they'll go away. . . . " He must be a cousin of your husband. :)

    1. I thought your hubby seemed familiar!!!!! ;)

  2. This SERIOUSLY cracks me upppp!!!! How can random people across the country from one another have so much in common - and I don't just mean me and you, but everybody reading this?? SO true - about cramming all the silverware in the first slot, one pan that if tilted the right way will allow the door to close but won't let anything get clean, etc. I did read that people that are good at math are good at things like loading dishwashers (no joke). Apparently there's the "Eh, I don't care that much" gene that they didn't factor into that, however.

    1. My oldest son is the worst when it comes to silverware cramming. All the other slots can be available and yet he will cram every piece of silverware right there in the first slot. Every time!

      I am good at loading the d.w. but not so good with math, meaning it was never a favorite subject.

  3. haha love that men vs women motto :-)

    1. We women gotta stick together on this, don't we? ;)

  4. I agree!! Here I waay across the country from you, Nan, and I am laughing so hard that you can hear me!! I have a dishwasher that doesn't work and that doesn't change anything with my husband. He will move faster to fix a car!! I'd much rather wash dishes by hand anyhow. I can hear all you ladies gasping!!

    I am linked right after you over at Kayse Pratt's blog...seems like I could have read my email??

    1. That was YOU laughing? Maybe you should just use your dishwasher as a drying rack instead, lol!

      That's funny that you're linked right after me. I just came across her blog party and thought it would be fun to link up.

      Sorry, I didn't quite get what you meant by your comment that you should have read your email?

  5. When my husband first decided to install a dishwasher, nearly 17 years ago, I protested because I did not want to lose any of the cupboard space in my galley kitchen. Well, I have LONG gotten over that lose of space. Oh the delight of having this dish-washing servant! I really don't care who loads it or how...just as long as the job gets done. What a bum I am!

    :) Hope

    1. I really do appreciate having a d.w. My mom went without one for years and years and years. She said it was just her and my dad so she didn't need one.

      I don't care, I am keeping mine after the kids move out, lol!

  6. I have been trying to train my family for years. Not going to happen, apparently. I can fit 30-50% more dishes than my mom, my OCD daughter, my free-spirit daughter and my loving husband. The gene starts with me.

    I don't complain, but I may come behind and "fix".

    1. Oh I "fix" too. I just can't help myself. I want to get as many dishes in there as possible, so I fix until I can get the rest of them in!

  7. I think it's a gender thing more than a gene thing. Every man I've ever known has the same problem!


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