Friday, April 30, 2010

I AM A "MEAN" MOMMY

Many years ago, when my children were younger, I know that on occasion their friends would tell them that I was "mean" or strict. I tried to look on that as if they were paying me a compliment!

Once I had a total stranger say to me "You must be a mean mom." He said that because we were standing in line at the post office (at Christmas time, mind you) and my young kids were laughing and trying to poke one another and I told them to stop.

So he turned to me and said "You must be a mean mom." I explained that I couldn't let them poke one another because poking can turn to shoving and pretty soon they'd be knocking into or annoying the people in line. He didn't agree with me and still said I was mean.

However, right after I said this another mother came in with her children. Two of them immediately began joking and shoving one another and bumped into the man several times. The third child walked over and began using his fingernail to scratch off the snowman that was painted on the glass.

During this time the mother ignored the shoving and yelling and scratching and didn't say a word of correction to her children. After several bouts of being bumped into, the man turned to me and said "I apologize. You are a good mom!"

I was and am a "mean" mommy if that means I had expectations for my children when they were out in public, as well as at home. I expected them to behave, be polite, and remember that they weren't the only people in the store that day.

I expected them to use indoor voices when they were indoors. I expected them to say "please" and "thank you," and "I'm sorry" and "please forgive me." I expected that it was my job to watch their behavior when we were out, and not the store manager's job or the waitress's job.

I expected them to be respectful to me (and others) both in their tone of voice and in their behavior. I expected them to be obedient and do what we asked them to do without arguing. Now admittedly we didn't always get that, but there were consequences for disobedience.

When they were younger we said "no" to some t.v. shows, some movies, and to hanging out at the mall without a grownup there. We said "no" to going out to the movies without a grownup along. We said "no" to most overnight sleepovers at a friend's house (grandparent's house was o.k. though). They couldn't play at a friend's house if their friend's parent wasn't there to supervise.

We said "no" a lot. But we said "yes" to lots more. We said "yes" to having play dates with their friends, or having their friends and their parents over for fun and fellowship. We said "yes" to swim parties and bowling parties and all sorts of fun (with and without their friends). We said "yes" to lazy summer day BBQ's, bike rides, camping, and building snowmen in the winter time.

For every "no" that we said, for every "mean" mommy and daddy response that we had, we sought to make sure that they knew we loved them. We didn't always give them a reason for our "no," but let them know that they needed to trust our judgment. No, they didn't usually like not getting a reason, but learning to trust in your parent's love and judgment is just a prelude to learning to trust in the Lord's love and judgment all your life, I think.

We made sure to let them know that we only wanted what was best for them and that they needed to trust our reasons, even if they didn't know what they were. We made sure to let them know that we weren't perfect, we made mistakes, but that we were seeking to raise them for the Lord as best we could. We were, after all, responsible to the Lord for our actions.

So if your kids think you're a "mean" mommy because you said "no," don't let it get you down. You're not alone! And remember, someday they'll grow up and be "mean" mommies and daddies themselves!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A LETTER TO MY DOCTOR

After I recently went through some medical testing and stuff, the doctor gave me a picture of my stomach and colon, and while I was touched, I wasn't really sure what I should do with it.

Should I put it in my wallet and break it out and
show people? "Oh, what beautiful children you have! Want to see a picture of my colon?????"

If you want to read the rest of my post, please pop over here. It's Tuesday, so it's my day to blog over at the Five Moms!


Sunday, April 25, 2010

MAKING YOUR HOME SING: OR CLEAR ITS THROAT

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

Wow. We had an amazing weekend with our church's youth group and it's leaders and helpers. Now it's time to retake my home, which was left to fend for itself as we ran in and out and back and forth to the church this weekend.

We would run in to pick something up (or do something) and then back to the church. Our dogs were thrilled every time one of us would come in to let them out, and then feel dejected again as we left. I am pretty sure that my clutter was glad to see me leave, however. It wanted to be left alone so it could multiply.

Laundry is piling up in epic proportions, and the dishwasher needs to be unloaded. The Sunday newspaper is scattered around as people read it, instead of being put in its proper place. I have a load of laundry patiently waiting to be folded too.

Plus, I am tired!

Do you ever feel like you could just curl up and take a nap? I am not a nap taker, but I think I could learn to like it right about now.

So, here's my plan to make my home sing: I am going to relax a bit and recover from our busy weekend. Oh, it was awesome people! If you're on facebook with me, I'll be posting some pictures later.

The youth of our church participated in the 30 Hour Famine sponsored by World Vision. They fasted from noon on Friday until 6:00 p.m. Saturday night. That's 30 hours. Plus, they stayed at the church from Friday to Saturday.

They turned over their cell phones for safe keeping. Yup, they went cold turkey without being able to text! They slept in their clothes on the hard floor (with no pillows or blankets for comfort in order to truly "experience" what it's like), played games that were famine-related, made 150 sandwiches that they weren't allowed to eat because they were fasting, and later were eager to hand the sack lunches out to a lot of hungry people. Then they marched joyously with signs and sang and hollered.

Their enthusiasm, humility and desire to make a difference in their world is humbling! These kids raised around $3,000 for World Vision to fight hunger, and my husband and I were blessed to be able to hang out with them this weekend.

However, I am now tired, lol! So today (Sunday) I will relax and recharge. Tomorrow I will begin to tackle my home and tame it into submission. But today, I will make my home sing by clearing its throat a bit.....it won't really be singing till tomorrow.

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday MckLinky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

JUST A REMINDER


It is Tuesday again and thought I'd remind y'all that it's my day to blog over here at the Five Mom's blog today!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

MAKING YOUR HOME SING: PERMISSION TO FAIL

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

Each week I prayerfully and thoughtfully sit here and think "What can I focus on this week to make my home "sing?" Each week I have grand plans and grand ideas. Each week I fail.

If we set out a plan, and aren't able to work our plan 100%, we fail if our expectation is that we have to do it perfectly. We fail if we believe that everything has to come together perfectly, and every plan has to be executed perfectly in order to bless our homes.

People, you have my permission to fail at perfection. Not that you needed anyone's permission, but if you are waiting for it, here it is. Go ahead. Fail.

I can assure you that I never quite succeed in my enthusiastic, energetic ideas to do this or that for the week. I never quite get every single thing accomplished that I had hoped to do. It doesn't all come together as I hoped it would. Sometimes, I just don't even feel like doing something at all, even though I know it needs to be done.

But does that mean I quit trying? Does that mean that I give up trying to bless my home because I can't bless it as well or as much as I'd like to? Does that mean I should just give up?

Does that mean that I should just not even try because I know I am never going to live up to my own expectations of being the "perfect" wife and mother? It's just not going to happen and we do not have to be perfect. There is only One who is perfect. We put pressure on ourselves and feel guilty when we don't live up to our own expectation of perfection.

For those of you with a perfectionist nature, you know that there are things you won't even start, because you know you don't have the time (or the means) to do it exactly the way you feel it needs to be done. So you know that you won't even start.

How many children do you know who just get up and walk perfectly without even trying before? How many children walk those first few steps without wobbling, falling, or even ever having at least crawled first? Should they just give up and crawl the rest of their lives?

Is your home a mess? Your checkbook in a tangle? Did you lose your patience with your children? Did you snap at your husband? Is your laundry pile reaching epic proportions?

O.k., so you're not perfect. You have failed to be the "perfect" homemaker you always thought you could be or should be. Are you going to live in that and embrace it? Never trying to "walk" because you've fallen so many times? Are you giving up?

Focus on what you ARE doing well. Focus on the things that you are doing that bless your family. Focus on the fact that today is a new day, and you still have time. You have time to make the difference you want to make. You have time to say "I'm sorry" if you need to.

You have time to start that laundry. You have time to balance that checkbook. You have time to start to tackle that messy corner. You have time to smile at your loved ones. Stop overwhelming yourself with your own expectations of perfection. Just start where you are with baby steps and make your home sing!

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday MckLinky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Free Fryday!

Hey people! Y'all like french fries? Well, head on over to Jack In The Box today for a free order of small fries. No coupon needed!

This is for participating stores (Spokane, WA and Tulsa, OK are not participating, sorry). So head out now, Fryday, April 16th! Have fun!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD

Earlier today I was fishing something out from under the seat of my car, and it dawned on me how very "brave" I was. After all, I don't really know what could be lurking under there.

I am not the only person who rides in this car. My husband has been known to trade cars with me, plus I have been known to carry one or two teenagers, or 40 of them, in my car as well.

But I was fearless and bravely shoved my hand under the seat, trying not to think about what that sticky thing was that I was touching, all the while searching for what was eluding me.

Who leaps into "danger" without looking before they leap? I think we learn this stuff in Mom 101. Isn't that the class that tells a mom to stick her finger in her child's diaper instead of relying on her nose to tell her if it needs changing or not? What were we thinking?

Motherhood. I ask you, how many people would apply for a job if they were told "You will be thrown up on, spit up on, nose wiped on, bit, kicked, hair pulled, screamed at, and you will be on call 24-7. You will be asked the same question over and over, and when the desired answer is not given, you will have to listen to someone pitching a fit. Right. In. Your. Ear. Oh, and sorry but you won't get any money for it either."

How many people would you expect to not only volunteer for that job, but also volunteer to increase their ability to be spit up on by adding more? And do it joyfully? Not only that, but how many people would recommend it as the best job in the world? (Me!)

It's the love that enables you to do it. The first time you look into that little precious face, and see that wobbly little head and hold that wiggly little body you will sign up for a lifetime, with no desire to retire. That's love.

Oh, and you'll be happy to know that my children stopped using me as their personal napkin many years ago. There is hope, people.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

MAKING YOUR HOME SING: I'VE GOT ALL DAY DISEASE

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

Isn't it funny how we all have the same amount of time available? 24 hours in a day, 1440 minutes. However you break it down, we all have the same amount of time.

Some people have a job outside the home, some work inside the home. Some have two children, some have no children. Some have six or eight children, and some have ten or even more. Some have husbands who help, some are single parents, some are taking care of their own parents, etc.

Some people are just overwhelmed and have too much on their plate and struggle to make it all work. Yet, there are still others of us who aren't as overwhelmed and really ought to be able to make it all work, and yet struggle to do so.

One thing I've noticed is that we are often good at making excuses. We blame our husbands, our children, our work, our church, the dog, etc., for our inability to manage our time and our home. Our home is to big, or to small. Our children are to demanding, or to helpless. Our husbands expect to much, or to little. We are so busy we can't stop, or so free-spirited that we can't start.

There are very busy people out there who have many more demands on their time than the average person. Yet how is it that they often tend to manage their time better than some of us do? Why is that the busiest person often manages to get more done?

The authors of "Sidetracked Home Executives" call it the IGAD disease. IGAD stands for I've Got All Day. Think about it.

You wake up brimming with enthusiasm, energy and excitement. Your to-do list is a mile long but you're o.k., you've GOT this! Somewhere along the way, your day disappears before your eyes, you start several different projects and yet don't finish one, and as night falls your enthusiasm falters and you wonder what you did all day.

Sometimes you may feel like all you did was change diapers or wipe noses, and yet you wonder why your friend's house is cleaner and dinner on the table and she has twice as many children as you do. So you feel bad and go drown your sorrows in a chocolate bar.

It's the dreaded I've Got All Day disease. You think, "I can sit down and play around on the computer, I can talk on the phone to my friend, have lunch, watch t.v., read a book. I have all day so it's o.k. to play! I'll just play a little now and then I'll clean later." Nothing wrong with playing, but sometimes play time can get away from you, and pretty soon you spent more time playing than you had planned and now you're stressed!

Then you start with the excuses. Everyone else doesn't have as many children as you do, as demanding a family or job as you have, as large a home or nosy neighbors as you have...... Isn't if funny that we so often feel guilty and feel like we need to make excuses? Why not admit the fact that maybe we're just not managing our time very well?

Sometimes it's just a lack of focus. You start several projects but get bored or easily distracted and keep moving onto something else. Therefore, you are overwhelmed with lots of projects that were started but not finished.

You drag clothes out of your closets to sort for Goodwill but don't finish it so they are left lying on your bed. You begin to fold laundry but leave it half folded on the couch in the living room while you go answer the phone. You wash half the windows, or take down the drapes to wash but never put back up, you have a stack of overdue library books on the dining table.

I've Got All Day disease. Don't let it happen to you, people! I had it and I still have an occasional relapse of it. This week I am going to resist it, take a shot of Time Management, and make my home sing!

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

JOIN THE ULTIMATE BLOG PARTY!

Ultimate Blog Party 2010

I am joining 5 Minutes for Mom's Ultimate Blog Party! What a great way to discover new blogs and make some new friends! Join the party and link up!

Hello Blog Hoppers and welcome! Please feel free to poke around as much as you'd like. I am Nan from Mom's The Word. I am a Christian, happily married to my wonderful husband and a stay at home mom to two awesome sons (17 and 21).

As my "about me" says my kids were ages one and five just yesterday. I know it. Somehow they just grew up overnight. I don't know, maybe I was in the bathroom shaving my legs or something and I missed it.

I blog about all sorts of stuff. My Savior, my family, parenting, organization, frugality, homemaking, chocolate, hairy legs, pimples and acrylic nails.....but through it all I hope you will find laughter, encouragement, and fun!


I host a weekly meme on Mondays called "Making Your Home Sing!" in which we post the things we are doing or going to do that day to make our homes sing. I hope you will come back and join us.

I also blog here at Five Moms and A Blog, where we have lots of laughter and fun and it's just like hangin' with the girls! And yes, there will be chocolate.

If you like what you see and want to subscribe in a feed reader or follow my tweets they're on the right sidebar and if you wish to follow it's on the left sidebar. I would love to have you! To visit the blog party please go here and do more blog hoppin!

If I am selected, I would love to win in this order: US1, US39, US40,US11 or US95, US3 or US15, US37 or US 112.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

WHEN THIS HAPPENS, LAUGH

One morning you are going to wake up and look into the mirror to brush your teeth, and you are going to see a gray hair. You are going to wonder where that wrinkle came from. You are going to wonder why your mother is staring back at you from the mirror.

It WILL happen to you, people. Rest assured.

When it does, laugh.

Some young sales clerk is going to call you ma'am. Some young kid is going to give you the token "pity" laugh when you make a joke. Your children are going to be taller than you. They are also probably going to have more money in their bank account than you do in yours, and they aren't even 18 yet.

When this happens, laugh.

You are going to ride in the car with a driver who was wearing diapers and drooling sixteen years ago!!!!! You are going to wonder if that child is listening to you because you feel your lips moving and hear the words coming out of your mouth, but you're getting no response from them.

When this happens, laugh.

You are going to leave your nails and finger sized indentations in the armrest of the car. You are also going to leave a hole in the car's floorboard where your right foot broke through when you desperately tried to brake and realized there is no brake on the passenger's side.

When this happens, laugh.

Sweat pants and a sweat shirt are suddenly not just for jogging anymore. They spell "comfort" and the elastic waist is suddenly very appealing.

When this happens, laugh.

Your doctor is going to seem like he started studying medicine when he was a toddler.

When this happens, laugh.

Then run. Run away. Right to the nearest grocery store and buy yourself some chocolate. Chocolate makes everything better.

When this happens, laugh and give me a call and I'll meet you there!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

MAKING YOUR HOME SING: THE INNER TODDLER

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

I must admit I don't feel like making my home sing this week. I just want to be lazy. I don't want to do anything. I just want to sit.

This has nothing to do with the fact that I've been sick. Nope! It's just laziness. I want to be lazy.

You ever want to be lazy? You ever want to just sit there and watch t.v. all day (if you could find anything worth watching) or read books or look through magazines? You ever want to just do whatever YOU want to do all day?

I don't want to do laundry. I don't want to cook dinner. I don't want to clean the kitchen, or take the dogs out, or clean the toilet.

I don't want to sweep or mop or make the bed or did I mention clean the toilets?

I don't want to be a responsible grownup mommy. I want to be a toddler.

I want to shout "Mine! Mine!" when I see something I want. I want to throw tantrums and scream and shout whenever I have to do something I don't want to do. I want to push and pull and climb over people to get to the goodies first.

I want to lie down on the floor and pound and kick and scream whenever I am told I have to go somewhere.

I want to spit out the vegetables and serve chocolate for dinner. I want to jump on beds and laugh and swing as high as I can and roll down the grassy hill, knowing that I will always be young and life will always be full of fun and laughter and sunny days.

I guess it's time to tame my inner toddler. I will choose to make my home sing by putting my inner toddler in time-out whenever she starts to throw a hissy fit. I will be telling my inner toddler tyrant to pipe down so that I can choose to be thankful for the laundry, and the dishes, and the toilets.

Especially the toilets. After all, where would we be without indoor plumbing? Well, I know where we'd be and frankly I don't want to be there.

I will enjoy the peace and joy that comes from knowing that I am doing exactly what I want to be doing, and that I don't have to do all of it (like the toilets) today!

I will be standing up to the cranky toddler in me and choosing to put a smile on my face and in my voice as I serve the wonderful family that God has given. I will also miss being on spring break......sigh! :0)

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!

HAPPY EASTER


Have a joyous Easter Sunday as we celebrate our risen Lord!