Sunday, April 18, 2010

MAKING YOUR HOME SING: PERMISSION TO FAIL

Making your home sing Mondays

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

Each week I prayerfully and thoughtfully sit here and think "What can I focus on this week to make my home "sing?" Each week I have grand plans and grand ideas. Each week I fail.

If we set out a plan, and aren't able to work our plan 100%, we fail if our expectation is that we have to do it perfectly. We fail if we believe that everything has to come together perfectly, and every plan has to be executed perfectly in order to bless our homes.

People, you have my permission to fail at perfection. Not that you needed anyone's permission, but if you are waiting for it, here it is. Go ahead. Fail.

I can assure you that I never quite succeed in my enthusiastic, energetic ideas to do this or that for the week. I never quite get every single thing accomplished that I had hoped to do. It doesn't all come together as I hoped it would. Sometimes, I just don't even feel like doing something at all, even though I know it needs to be done.

But does that mean I quit trying? Does that mean that I give up trying to bless my home because I can't bless it as well or as much as I'd like to? Does that mean I should just give up?

Does that mean that I should just not even try because I know I am never going to live up to my own expectations of being the "perfect" wife and mother? It's just not going to happen and we do not have to be perfect. There is only One who is perfect. We put pressure on ourselves and feel guilty when we don't live up to our own expectation of perfection.

For those of you with a perfectionist nature, you know that there are things you won't even start, because you know you don't have the time (or the means) to do it exactly the way you feel it needs to be done. So you know that you won't even start.

How many children do you know who just get up and walk perfectly without even trying before? How many children walk those first few steps without wobbling, falling, or even ever having at least crawled first? Should they just give up and crawl the rest of their lives?

Is your home a mess? Your checkbook in a tangle? Did you lose your patience with your children? Did you snap at your husband? Is your laundry pile reaching epic proportions?

O.k., so you're not perfect. You have failed to be the "perfect" homemaker you always thought you could be or should be. Are you going to live in that and embrace it? Never trying to "walk" because you've fallen so many times? Are you giving up?

Focus on what you ARE doing well. Focus on the things that you are doing that bless your family. Focus on the fact that today is a new day, and you still have time. You have time to make the difference you want to make. You have time to say "I'm sorry" if you need to.

You have time to start that laundry. You have time to balance that checkbook. You have time to start to tackle that messy corner. You have time to smile at your loved ones. Stop overwhelming yourself with your own expectations of perfection. Just start where you are with baby steps and make your home sing!

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday MckLinky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!

19 comments:

  1. I needed this!

    You said, "Is your home a mess? Your checkbook in a tangle? Did you lose your patience with your children? Did you snap at your husband? Is your laundry pile reaching epic proportions?" And I say, "Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes!" LOL

    But you've given me the pat on the back I needed to just get back up and do it.

    Thanks Nan.

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  2. Thanks Nan for reminding me that I don't have to be perfect with sticking to my plans. Sometimes my plans can be so lofty that they are unrealistic! Just as long as I try SOMETHING to make my home sing. Right?

    Blessings!

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  3. Thank you so much for this post. I had grand plans for all the things we were going to get done this past weekend however my little boy got a cold and all he wanted to do was sit on his Mommy's lap. While initially frustrated, I then allowed myself to enjoy it. Who knows how much longer he'll let me hold him? Besides, he does this cute thing where he rubs my arm that I just love. And he smells delicious! Who cares if the laundry isn't put away?

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  4. Thank you, thank you! I am so hard on myself sometimes...especially when I fail. I guess the best thing is when we learn from our failures...that is what I need more of...learning!

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  5. Our failure is what makes Christ's work on the cross all the sweeter. It's hard to come to him when we have it all together, eh?

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  6. Morning Nan :-}

    I am very glad to see that at least for today, you followed my advice and steered away from the 'meddling' o;-p

    I can say that, because even though my house is a mess and my bills are in quite a state, I have always agreed with you on the points about how we are not perfect, and even promoted the whole thing myself!!!

    I have always thought and talked about how no body is perfect, and anybody that attempts to promote themselves other wise, is not only lieing to themselves, but also horribly negelting some area of their life in order to keep other areas up to such high standards.

    There was a whole bunch of us whom had grown up together and then in our 'twenties' formed our own 'group'. We did activities together, and every year on the fourth of July took our families on a large group camping outing. FUN!!!

    But there was one female in our group whom played the 'perfectionist' card to the max. Everything she cooked was home made (which I liked to do myself, but to hear her go on ...), her home, car, tent, EVERYthing was always spotlessly clean, her children got changed immediatly after playing in the woods so that they too were usually spotless and extensibly well groomed, etc.. She was a perfectionist - to the max - hard to swollow, and usually most annoying to be around.

    I held to my motto that nobody can be that perfect in every area .... the truth came out in a most sinister, drama filled, heart breaking saga. Her husband and marriage had been what she was negelting. What she publiclly put that man through in the process of leaving him and then divorcing him. The charges she trumped up. NO man deserves what he went through!!!!

    While I know I am so far from perfect it is probably a sin, and sometimes I get so overwhelmed with situations/projects/etc. that I want to just throw my hands up and walk away/give up, I also know that I then need to put the blinders on the side of my eyes so that the 'whole' doesn't over whelm me and instead tackle one small area at a time. Instead of tackling the whole bathroom, clean just the sink. Instead of being overwhelmed with an enourmaous laundry mound, sort it out, prewashing areas as I go, and start a load in the process - it makes the overall task seem more conquorable.

    I also have learned to acknowledgie that no matter how hard I might try to or want to, I do not have control over 'life'. It happens. On a regualr basis. And how I handle/deal with that is often more important than if my home is spotless.

    Here's a smile for your day friend :-D

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  7. Today's MYHS fit perfectly with what I intended on blogging about this morning! Thanks!

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  8. Thank you..thank you!! Beautiful reminder not to get caught up in perfection but also the right balance of encouragement to make the most of our gifts and abilities! Wonderful post. Thanks for great encouragement for a good week!

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  9. One reason I love MYHSM is that I can start anew at the beginning of the week to see where I went wrong the week before and what I can do to make it better this week. I gave up trying to have the perfect house and children at least 3 children ago-LOL It was too exhausting! Have a great week, Nan.

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  10. Great stuff here today! This was SOOO me last week - and although i could slip into it again this week, I shook things up and started my morning off differently and it felt really great. So I'm taking it one step at a time. Thanks for the encouragement and the reminders to ENJOY singing. =)

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  11. I am finally posting again, Nan! and lo and behold it dove tails your post! I couldn´t believe it when I read it.
    I totally relate! and it´s exactly what I am doing.
    Praise the Lord for you and what you said this week!
    Big hugs
    Dani Joy

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  12. Hello Nan,

    Thanks for the kind words on my anniversary post. ☺ If you saw me in person, you would not think I looked “exactly that same”. Ha! Ha! I think you look amazing! You and your husband are a great looking couple. (Your sons are nothing to sneeze at either! ☺) And…if I remember correctly, you have been married for 26 years? Or is it now 27?

    I love your post today! I also love that today is a new day! I am not very good at so many things, and some days I do really feel like giving up trying. However, being the best I can be is all God is asking me to be, not being that perfect wife and mother that is in my mind. To God be the glory for all I am able to be!

    Love you!
    ♥Hope

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  13. So true Nan. I struggle in this area -- teetering between a "want to be" perfectionist and then failing myself.

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  14. I need this permission...right now, baby is making me SO tired that I can only get half of my work done!!

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  15. I'm far from perfect. I prepared a home cooked meal for my hubby today, instead of making him eat leftovers...AGAIN! ;-)

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  16. Trying to be perfect is just way too much pressure and stress! It took me many years to learn to give myself a break. Thanks for the reminder. :)

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  17. Thank you for sharing this, Nan. I sometimes feel like a failure because I don't get it all done. But just need to get right back up and do it again. Ask for God's help and stop trying to do in my own strength. Right?

    Hugs!!

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  18. Ouch! You stepped on my toes! :) I'm so guilty of wanting to do something perfect and procrastinating because I don't have time to do it "like I want". I will have to remember to participate in this at least on some Mondays!

    Thanks! Have a great day!
    Tammy

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  19. Oh thank you my friend! My homemaking skills are far from perfect. I keep trying. I don't know that I'll ever get it. But I at least want to give my family my best. Thanks for always being such a great encourager to do so!

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