Sunday, July 19, 2009

MAKING YOUR HOME SING MONDAY: WHEN HUBBY IS LOW PRIORITY

Making your home sing Mondays


Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

It's easy to place your child's needs ahead of your own, but your husband's needs? Puh-lease. He's a big guy, he can take care of himself. Unfortunately that's the way it tends to be sometimes.

It's easy to take care of your child when he or she is sick but take care of your husband when he is sick? Hey, he's a grownup and he should stop whining.

It's easy to pick up your child or take your child somewhere, but take your husband somewhere so you can have the car.......hey, he can take the bus. So what if he has to walk three blocks in the rain, he won't melt.

It's easy to make something for your child for lunch, but your husband? Hey, he knows where the kitchen is, doesn't he?

It's easy to drop the housework and the laundry and go spend time with your child, but let the housework go and spend the evening with your husband? Isn't that what the t.v. is for?

It's easy to answer the many questions of your children, but when you husband asks? Can't he see that you're busy and stop bothering you?

It's easy to interrupt your chores and accept the hugs and kisses of your children, but from your husband? Can't he see that you're stressed and leave you alone?

It's easy to set yourself aside for your child, but for your husband? Come on, what's he done for you lately?

Are you to busy for your husband but not your children? Do your children always come first and your husband always come last? Is he low priority or no priority? Our husbands need to come first with us, and there's nothing wrong with that.

That doesn't mean we ignore the needs of a screaming, crying baby who is hungry. Of course we use common sense. But it does mean that we don't shut our husbands out of our exclusive little club of mommy and kids. It does mean that we don't lavish our time, attention and affection on our children and make our husbands feel as if they are an intruder in their own home.

Sometimes, in a hurting marriage, a wife is waiting for her husband to love her as she wants to be loved, before she will love him as he wants to be loved. Somebody has to make the first move. Somebody has to take the first step. Somebody has to reach out first. Will it be you today?

Yes, our babies and our children need us. But so do our husbands. When those babies have grown up and moved away, dear hubby will still be there. Will you know him?

I can make my home sing by remembering to show my husband the love, honor and respect that he deserves. To make sure that I have as much time, love and attention for him as I do for my children. To continue to be as glad to see him as I am to see my children!

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!





29 comments:

  1. great post today ladybug! My kids came home from my MIL's today...I had a week without them and 3 days totally alone. I have never had even one day alone in over 16 years!!! I wish it didn't have to end....sigh....

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  2. I see Mr. Linky has issues this week. I couldn't get it to work either. I am writing about: how laundry works in our home: http://organizedeveryday.blogspot.com/2009/07/how-laundry-works-at-our-house.html

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  3. We try to work together to make our home sing. Tonight, I took the recycle out. Normally a job others would do at my house. It just seemed like the right thing to do.
    Blessings and prayers, andrea

    PS: Urgent prayer request on my blog for a fellow blogger

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  4. Oh what a great reminder my friend! I hope I make my husband feel important and loved. He definitely deserves it!

    Happy Monday my friend! I hope you had a great weekend!

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  5. Today I will make my house sing by doing the never-ending piles of laundry from our vacation. One of my secrets is that I don't mind doing laundry...but shhh don't tell anyone ;o
    ~Elyse

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  6. I am missing my hubby right now...it would be easy to love on him at this moment! Thanks for reminding us of what is important.

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  7. Thank you so much for this reminder today!!

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  8. Good grief I needed to read this. With myself having a cough & the boy with an ear infection...hubs has been on the back burner. Thanks for the reminder my friend!
    Hugs
    Mimi

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  9. thanks for this post.. what a timely reminder for me!

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  10. Hi Nan, what a great post and important point! We are called to love our husbands,(Titus 2, 4). It can be hard and often neglected and I am guilty of this. A great reminder!
    Love Collette xxx

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  11. So true and so convicting!!!!!

    I do try to make it a point now to not be on the computer when he gets home, so this way he has my full attention. Plus, I know he likes to talk and share what's on his mind. This way he's getting my full attention and not just my profile!!!!!!

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  12. Hey there! :0) I'm so happy you stopped by my blog! I was just browsing yours and I can tell we're going to be great friends! I so agree with the whole husband thing...he works so hard all day for our family...the least I can do is give him a place he looks forward to retreating to at the end of a long day....we all need to be taken care of! Smiles :0)!

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  13. Always a good reminder for us! All too often, especially with little ones or when we are all sick, it's so easy to forget that our husbands still need attention! Thanks for this post.

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  14. Hello dear friend,

    My sister was recently saying something like this, also, about a couple going to counseling. Both the husband and wife told their sides, and the counselor asked the couple, “Who is willing to drink of the cup?” I thought that was very helpful and something I want to remember. It is so simple…am I willing to drink from the cup Christ drank from and lay down my life? I WANT TO!

    ♥Hope

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  15. Nan, you are sweet to have wanted a large family, but like you, I did not have the number of children I thought I would have. 40 nieces and nephews is nothing to sneeze at! That is a BIG number! I certainly had not much to do with the number of nieces and nephews in our family.
    Thanks for your visit; I always love reading your comments!
    ♥Hope

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  16. Great post Nan! The first thing we should do in making our home sing is loving our husbands and putting them first. But I have to remember that I can not do that! I repeat! I can not do that unless I am already full and all of my needs are already met in the unconditional love and care of my God. If I look to Him to meet all of my needs then I can go forth full, loving my husband, instead of empty expecting my husband to make the first effort toward loving me.
    I have tried the, "I am just going to bite the bullet and love and prefer him first" thing as an act of my will, many times before I realized that even in doing that I was just loving me and preferring me, thinking that he would respond to me the way that I need him to if I do. And it never worked anyway!
    But, when I look to Jesus to fill my love cup up and go forward from there. My responses are amazing to even myself. And my love cup begins to overflow as my husband seems to pour into it too. That is just the added blessing of God, like the whip cream on top of the pie.
    It most definitely makes our home sing when we fill ourselves us in His love so we are able to make our husband top priority within our home. And our children are blessed to live in a home that sings! :)

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  17. It is so easy to let the childrens' needs come before your husband's. I've been trying to make a point to put him first. My singing is to keep my house running smoothly while I'm gone next week and the kids are here with a friend. I can't post it though as it is a surprise visit to one of my closest friends. :D

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  18. Ouch! guess I needed to hear this one...

    thanks for the reminder.

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  19. you spoil me with your flattery!!! magazines are reserved for professionals! lol

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  20. So much wisdom, as always! I see so many women stop focusing on their husbands when they have babies, but soon enough those babies will be out of the home. Great advice today. We need to always work on our marriages and a huge part of that is loving on our husbands.

    Mrs. Nurse Boy

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  21. That about summed it all up!
    Hey I don´t show my kids more attention. I pretty much show no one attention when i get grumpy. But well, I would be good if I could keep my mouth closed too.
    Needed this part most:
    I can make my home sing by remembering to show my husband the love, honor and respect that he deserves.
    a constant job!
    Thanks for putting into good perspective.

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  22. Well put, and such an important message. It is easy to get caught up in the day to day needs of our kids and let our husband's needs get pushed to the back burner. Balance is the key. Without a happy healthy marriage, there will be no happy healthy kids! Everyone loses.
    Thank you for this thoughtful post :D

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  23. What wonderful reminders for me in this season of my life. Wonderful words! It is great to remember that the way we treat our spouse really helps "our home sing".

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  24. Oh boy! Some things I'm pretty good at doing for hubby and some things he is low priority. Good reminder for those low priority times.

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  25. Great post...so glad that I cound your blog...and have enjoyed reading the other links....

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  26. You are so right, great post. Much to think about ;)

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  27. THat's a great post...why is it so easy to put hubby to the curb? LOL! I'm so thankful for our vacation during our anniversary, because we would probably not take the time for ourselves, otherwise. It's so nice to reconnect with your spouse when you can get so caught up in the kids' needs :)

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  28. LOVE TO JOIN NEXT WEEK. IM GRAC FR THE PHILS.I AM A PASTOR'S WIFE.

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  29. Nan,

    This is so true. It is funny how when a wife comes to me for counsel in her marriage and I suggest a little attention to the hubby, she so often stares at me with the blankest look you can imagine! Like the idea had never occurred to her. Even in my parents very troubled marriage, I witnessed my mother serving my father and looking out for his needs and comfort.

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