Tuesday, June 9, 2009


People, I have finally crossed the acrylic red line. I have gone over to the darkside of naildom. Now I know what all you people with your fake or real long nails have known before me.

Now I can see what all the hoopla is all about. Now I "get" it. Now I am part of "the club."

Now I don't have to hide in shame anymore. To embarrassed to do anything but walk around with my hands in my pockets. Hiding. Now I understand the nail-biting reasons behind it all. Now I can walk around with my head my hands held high because.....

I received......a nail makeover! Wouldn't that make a fun show? What's not to love? You find someone in a store, whose cuticles are in serious need of repair, and you treat them to an afternoon at the nail spa!!! Who is to say that it wouldn't be in the top 10 shows! We could call it Extreme Nailover. Or maybe, What Nail Not to Wear. Come on, who's with me?

Well, anyway.....I now have nicely manicured hands. It was a gift from my friend Dawna (the manicure, not my hands). My friends were sitting around laughing and teasing me about my ridiculous and disasterous attempt to put on store-bought fake nails one morning before church (you can read about it here), and so Dawna decided she wanted to treat me to some fake nails as a gift. She loves to do things like that for people. She's a giver.

At first I thanked her but declined as I didn't want her to spend the money, but she seemed determined to do it over my dead body.....and honestly, I did think it might be fun (the nails, not dying).

I would like to add that the little plant holder shown in the picture above did not come attached to the nails. You have to purchase that separately.

I was actually nervous when I went to the salon, due to past memories. I had fake nails put on for my wedding day and had never had them since. They felt like dragon nails and I really felt like I couldn't do a thing with them.

On our honeymoon I discovered I couldn't get my contacts out of my eyes, as my nails were about six feet long........o.k., I'm only kidding.....they were only three feet long. I begged my husband to grab my eyeballs if he had to and squeeze until the derned things popped out (the contacts, not my eyes), but he just looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights.

You would have thought that I had just asked him to go out and wrestle a bear with his bare hands. In fact, to him, that probably would have been preferable as he was more afraid of hurting me than hurting the bear. Which, by the way, there was no bear. There was, however, a frog but that's a whole other story.......

I finally got the contact removal thing figured out, and also mastered putting makeup on without poking my eyeball out every time. However, once I got back to work I just couldn't type with these ridiculous things.....I kept getting my nails caught in the keyboard. Finally I gave up and had them removed (the nails, not my hands.........sheesh!) and I haven't had them since.

Well, thanks to my friend, I have them again (the nails, not my hands, try and keep up people). I gotta say......my nails are blood red, but I like 'em. I did, however, request that they not be to long.

If you see me driving down the road I am sure you'll recognize me. I'll be the one waving my hands wildly out the window, just because I don't want to hide them and hoping you'll notice my lovely nail gift from my friend!

I'll be the one causing traffic confusion because noone will understand what I'm doing with my hands waving out the window, first up, then down, then side to side. I'll be easy to spot. Just look for a traffic jam.

I'll be the one holding my hands out in front of me in the store, right in front of my face, so that you won't miss my bright red nails. Talk to the hand, folks.......I'll be the one avoiding housework or doing anything that might cause me to break a nail......

However, does this sound like a good enough reason to avoid housework? Can I give the excuse that I can't do the dishes because I might break a nail? Is this acceptable? Has anybody ever bought that excuse? I tried it with my son today and he just rolled his eyes.

So now I have perky nails. Next I think I'll get my belly button pierced.....if I can find it. Oh, and please visit me over at Five Moms And A Blog today, it's my day to blog there, so go here to see!


  1. You are soooo funny!!! I love the story of you asking your husband to get your contacts out... so funny!!!

    Your nails look great.

    I had mine done twice in my life. Both times it was a gift from the same lady. We were on deputation and we were staying at her house. She always had her done and I love them. So she took me there.

    So pretty, but when you are not used to they can get in your nerves the first couple of days. :)

    Great friend you have!

  2. hello nan! i have a new button, hope you can grab it! :D

  3. Oh, Nan...you're too cute!! Thanks for the laugh!!

    I think your nails look awesome! You have such nice hands too!!

  4. Hey Nan,

    Your nails look beautiful.

    Remember I told you that I was getting a pedicure because our family is going on a cruise? Well today is the day and I am getting a manicure, TOO. Yay! I will blog about it as well so you can see the before and after. I'll have my daughters take pictures now so that I don't forget.

    TTYL :-)

  5. I just had my nails done a few weeks ago for the first time in 15 years! Last time was my wedding too and boy the styles have changed since 1993!! I loved them too but now 3 weeks later I don't know how to get the durn things off! I don't have time to go back to the salon and acetone doesn't work! They look a little like I have clear bubbles on half of my nails! Kinda gross!!

    Yours looks beautiful! Enjoy them and BTW...it does give you a free pass on housework!

  6. Oh you are too funny my friend! But your nails are beautiful!

    I love to get pedicures. But the whole house work thing is why I don't get my finger nails done very often. Maybe one day I can afford to pay someone to clean the house. Then I can get my nails done all the time ;)

  7. Beautiful! I'm so glad you were able to get new nails...but keep your hands in the process...without dying! ;)

    I had them a long time ago, too...and haven't had them since, but they look great! Love the red! {I will be sure to not be on the road today...in case of a crazy, waving woman! LOL!}

  8. Nan,

    You are too much. I used to wear my nails painted and long...but I have the ugliest hands on the planet, so I hate to draw attention to them. Now my toes I get pedicured regularly, but the hand is a-natural.
    Cute post you silly girl.

  9. I am so happy for you. I know when I was modeling once I had the fake 3 ft. ones on and I couldn't even zip up my pants I had to get help. I haven't worn fake nails since. I guess I have MOM NAILS!
    You have such pretty hands and the nails look great. Hugs, Bobbi Jo

  10. Your nails look great!

    I still haven't mastered getting contacts out with long nails, therefore I don't do acrylics! I even file my own nails down just for this task!!

  11. Super cute! The great thing about acrylics is that the polish stays nice forever. I've always been envious of those stay-good-forever manicures...when I came home, I stopped painting my nails. Chipped nails are not cute! So, wave your hands in pride!

  12. You crack me up!!! They are amazing...(your nails, not your hands)...although your hands don't look half bad either.

    I am thinking about tackling my very first salon pedicure. Wanna come???

    Mrs. Nurse Boy

  13. I hope you enjoy them! Like you described, I thought they just got in the way. I haven't had them since prom in high school.

  14. Hey, if it'll keep me out of housework, I just might go get mine done, too! Nah, I like my natural nails. They're good, they're strong, they're long. I'll keep em.

    My toes? ALWAYS A PEDICURE!!! =0)

  15. You are a mess. I love your fingernails -- they look great!

  16. O' so very, very pretty!! The color is so becoming of your hands! ;o)

    I sure hope they hold up with all your summer cleaning plans! :o)

  17. Your nails are very pretty! I just clipped all of mine because the prenatal vitamins make them grow so long, and they irritate me. I'm weird.

  18. Oh my gosh!! I totally thought they were new at the graduation party!! ...silly me couldn't figure it out, though. They look great!

  19. B-E-A-utiful!! You are too funny!

  20. Yet another surprise from Nan.

    I am still one of those with bad nails, but that cannot be helped. I like playing with my fireplace ashes too much to go for perfect nails…YES, I said ashes, which I saved just to sift through my hand and feel how wonderful it is…sort of like playing in the sand, only softer. I might just post a picture of that for you…along with my ONE good nail.

    ♥ Hope

  21. BTW...Your nail look TOO pretty for words!

    ♥ Hope

  22. I am laughing so hard!!! I even read this to my Hubby. I got some chuckles .. especially the part about your hubby squeezing your eyeballs out! Oh my this is a keeper! You really had too much fun with this one.
    I love you nails and I love having my nails done but like you don´t handle them too long. (hahaha... no pun intended. then again maybe it was. )
    thanks for the Laugh! Great medicine!

  23. You are too funny and your nails are gorgeous. As I look down and see my pathetically manicured nails...I am wondering why it is again I don't get mine done anymore...Oh, yeah that's right. The kids, the dishes, the toilets...

  24. You crack me up! I've missed reading your blog and now I know why! Your nails are beautiful.

  25. my bathroom goes up tonight at midnight...then there are more rooms to come!

  26. They look nice! It does take some time to get used to them doesn't it!

  27. You crack me up! You need to get out more, woman!

    Your nails do look nice!
    I have met someone who gave the excuse "I can't, my nails" and then it was "I can't, my shoes."

    I couldn't believe it. So I carried things and tied things and did things by myself that I could have used help with so she could spare her precious nails & shoes.

    It's a funny world we live in.
    More later.

  28. Your nails are beautiful! I need to get mine done again too!

  29. LOL! You are so funny! :D

    The nails look "Mah-ve-lous"! Glad you agreed to it!!

  30. That cracked me up!!!

    My advice... DON'T CLEAN!!! I lost half of my REAL nail under my acrylic nail when I bent it back while cleaning our unit to move out. You know how sometimes you can bend your nail back when it catches on something and it hurts but doesn't do much damage? It does LOTS of damage when the rock hard acrylic makes your real nail snap in half instead of just bending. So you can use me as an example and say that cleaning is now far too dangerous for you and someone else should take care of it.

    I loved my acrylics so much but moving away from the training salon meant that I couldnt afford them anymore (because free nails work is a GREAT deal!) I had to learn to do them myself... then I had kids... now I have mum nails...

  31. I love your nails ,also love that they are a not too long ,I have mine done every 3 weeks and a pedicure ,I do this because in my everyday life I have a job that requires me to talk to people which I cannot do without moving my hands (its and affliction) and I find my nail polish stays on much loneger this way and actually saves me time.


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