Now I can see what all the hoopla is all about. Now I "get" it. Now I am part of "the club."
Now I don't have to hide in shame anymore. To embarrassed to do anything but walk around with my hands in my pockets. Hiding. Now I understand the nail-biting reasons behind it all. Now I can walk around with
I received......a nail makeover! Wouldn't that make a fun show? What's not to love? You find someone in a store, whose cuticles are in serious need of repair, and you treat them to an afternoon at the nail spa!!! Who is to say that it wouldn't be in the top 10 shows! We could call it Extreme Nailover. Or maybe, What Nail Not to Wear. Come on, who's with me?
Well, anyway.....I now have nicely manicured hands. It was a gift from my friend Dawna (the manicure, not my hands). My friends were sitting around laughing and teasing me about my ridiculous and disasterous attempt to put on store-bought fake nails one morning before church (you can read about it here), and so Dawna decided she wanted to treat me to some fake nails as a gift. She loves to do things like that for people. She's a giver.
At first I thanked her but declined as I didn't want her to spend the money, but she seemed determined to do it over my dead body.....and honestly, I did think it might be fun (the nails, not dying).
I would like to add that the little plant holder shown in the picture above did not come attached to the nails. You have to purchase that separately.
I was actually nervous when I went to the salon, due to past memories. I had fake nails put on for my wedding day and had never had them since. They felt like dragon nails and I really felt like I couldn't do a thing with them.
On our honeymoon I discovered I couldn't get my contacts out of my eyes, as my nails were about six feet long........o.k., I'm only kidding.....they were only three feet long. I begged my husband to grab my eyeballs if he had to and squeeze until the derned things popped out (the contacts, not my eyes), but he just looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights.
You would have thought that I had just asked him to go out and wrestle a bear with his bare hands. In fact, to him, that probably would have been preferable as he was more afraid of hurting me than hurting the bear. Which, by the way, there was no bear. There was, however, a frog but that's a whole other story.......
I finally got the contact removal thing figured out, and also mastered putting makeup on without poking my eyeball out every time. However, once I got back to work I just couldn't type with these ridiculous things.....I kept getting my nails caught in the keyboard. Finally I gave up and had them removed (the nails, not my hands.........sheesh!) and I haven't had them since.
Well, thanks to my friend, I have them again (the nails, not my hands, try and keep up people). I gotta say......my nails are blood red, but I like 'em. I did, however, request that they not be to long.
If you see me driving down the road I am sure you'll recognize me. I'll be the one waving my hands wildly out the window, just because I don't want to hide them and hoping you'll notice my lovely nail gift from my friend!
I'll be the one causing traffic confusion because noone will understand what I'm doing with my hands waving out the window, first up, then down, then side to side. I'll be easy to spot. Just look for a traffic jam.
I'll be the one holding my hands out in front of me in the store, right in front of my face, so that you won't miss my bright red nails. Talk to the hand, folks.......I'll be the one avoiding housework or doing anything that might cause me to break a nail......
So now I have perky nails. Next I think I'll get my belly button pierced.....if I can find it. Oh, and please visit me over at Five Moms And A Blog today, it's my day to blog there, so go here to see!