Sunday, June 14, 2009

MAKING YOUR HOME SING MONDAY: YOUR EXPECTATIONS

Making your home sing Mondays


Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

Do you remember what it was like to be single and childless? To have all that freedom? Yes, you were probably working fulltime, but after work your time was your own (well, unless you went to nightschool).

Ah, the night was young, and so were you! So much freedom! Noone to answer to. Nobody needing you. You could stay up till the wee hours of the morning and sleep in the next day (if you didn't have to get up). You could work for hours and hours on a project, and not have to stop to feed anyone, not even yourself! You could eat ice cream for dinner!

You could set something down and not worry about someone moving it. You could get away with doing alot less laundry. You could get in the bathroom when you wanted, and noone stood outside the door calling you.

You could leave the house at the drop of a hat, without needing to load 40 million things and several children into a car. You could run errands for hours, or shop for hours if you wanted, with nobody whining or complaining or fighting. You could even drive for hours without needing to stop for a potty break......well, unless you wanted to.

You didn't need to plan ahead to do or schedule anything. You could be spontaneous, a free spirit! If there wasn't any food in the fridge or any dinner plans, who cares? You didn't need to panic! You could eat cold cereal, run to the local fast food place, or run home to mom and dad's for dinner.

Money? Hey, after the bills it was yours to spend how you wanted. No need to check with someone else. No need to talk about whether or not this or that purchase was a good idea. Nobody to complain if you bought that blouse or ate out yet again.

"Me" time! Calgon take me away time! Time to read, watch t.v., listen to music, finish a sentence.....and no interruptions!

Fast forward to now........life is different, isn't it? Are you happy? Are you content? Are you still living with the same expectations that you had as a single/childless person? Has your mind made the necessary leap to your current lifestyle or are you mentally rebelling? Do you still, deep down, expect everything to be the same as before? Do you allow yourself to wish it was sometimes?

Your life changes when you join it with your spouse. Your life changes when you have children. I happen to believe, and hope most, if not all of you, would agree that it changes for the better!

But you have to change your expectations too. If you continue to have the same expectations you will be frustrated. If you continue to be frustrated, it can lead to unhappiness. If you continue to be unhappy, it can lead to discontent, being miserable, grumpy, resentful, and all sorts of other things.

What a wonderful opportunity to raise a child. What an incredible joy to have the opportunity to pour so much of yourself and your values into a little life like that. To see them learn to walk, talk, to see them grow! What an incredible, awesome, (somewhat terrifying, lol) responsibility to be a parent!

What a wonderful joy to join your life in marriage with the man you love. To share the highs and the lows. The sickness and the health. To share your tears and fears, your hopes and dreams, your loves and your not-so-loves! To have a partner through life!

Again, expectations, folks! You can no longer view yourself as someone who is living solely for themselves (which, as a Christian we aren't supposed to anyway, we are living for the Lord). But you know what I mean. It is no longer only about you! Suddenly there is someone else's opinion to consider. Suddenly there are several little someone's who need you....all day long....and sometimes even several times during the night.

When you're a mom, you are on call 24/7. It's a hard thing, sometimes, to set your own wants and desires aside and tend to a cranky toddler, a hungry teenager, a messy house.

Someday, there will be time for long, lingering books again. Someday, there will be time for hours of shopping. Someday, you will be able to leave the house without taking half your household with you.

But for now, just expect that there will be moments of frustration. There will be moments of exhaustion. There will be moments of "Calgon take me away" desperation. Expect that.

But also expect that there will be laughter, and "I love you mommy" or "I love you mom" along with the whining and the "What's for dinner?" Expect that there will be many more glorious moments of joy than of frustration. Expect that the unselfishness of being a mom is soooo worth it!

Accept that your life has changed. Accept that your priorities have changed. Accept that you will never be the same as you were before. Accept that there were some great things about the single life. And that there are some great things about married life. And some great things about being a parent. And be thankful!

One way to make your home sing this week is to be thankful, be content. Embrace the changes. For now you are a wife and/or mom and you will never be the same again! Your heart will forever go with them wherever they go. And your heart will forever be blessed by those precious ones who call you wife or mom!

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!


19 comments:

  1. I am going to pray alot and play with my grandbaby!! The cleaning and purging will happen with my son and daughter in law move into their new home with our grandbaby. For now...my home will sing as I love on Savannah.

    Blessings, andrea

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  2. what a beautiful post... I can TOTALLY relate! Thanks for helping to make me feel better about my new and improved lifestyle. Lately I have been missing the old days lol...

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  3. This post made me think back on how life used to be and actually, how boring it was. Since becoming a mommy, I really haven't thought much about it because I'm so caught up in the present. I absolutely love being a mommy but it is so much hard work and you might as well throw selfishness out the window. There is no room or time for it.

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  4. What a great post! Being thankful for what we have in the moment God has placed us is how we find happiness in spite of the frustrations.

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  5. My home is singing Laundry right now!!! Always laundry songs over here!

    I remember being just a married couple with no children...man, what did we do with all that time!!!

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  6. I love reading your writings....and thanks for the opportunity to share my clean-freak-ed-ness! lol

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  7. Yes, Tarah...my laundry is singing the blues!

    It's really hard to have those expectations, and that our expectations change all the time! I sure do expect alot of me time...but no one else has those expectations, but me..hmmm! LOL!

    Great reminders...Live for today, but expect that there's always laundry to be done and groceries to get...with a couple little helpers who want Hannah Montana cereal!

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  8. We are having some rough days with Stunt Man and his defience...but I am learning to be content and discipline and know that this too shall pass. My expectations are that of the girls & boys are so different. I am being content with my boy but learning so many new things with him.

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  9. The bible does say to be content in all things!! So hard sometimes when you're dealing w/ children issues. Our flesh wants to get in the way, but those are the times I need to step back and pray for wisdom!

    But, I do love being a mom and being home w/ them. I had my fair share of singleness. I loved that season in my life, but definitely love this one much more!

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  10. happy monday!

    i have something for you http://www.mommyjourney.com/2009/06/old-and-new-treasures.html

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  11. I had always wondered what the single life was like...thanks for the picture. I got married 5 months after graduation, and got pregnant 6 months after getting married. I never wondered about what I missed until about 2 years ago, but I told myself there is no need going down a road that was not in my plans.

    I am SO thankful for God's plan for me, and I have to remember to embrace today...someday I will have just my husband and I to worry about, and the house will be so quiet...thanks for the reminder.

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  12. Thanks for reminding us that it is our own expectations that set the stage for our quality of life. Contentment and gratitude for where we are at this moment go a long way towards giving us a happy life.

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  13. What a great blog! I've always taken being a moma and wife very serious. I've never yearned for those single/momless days. Though, I enjoyed my freedom at the time, this is where my life has led and I love it!! I'm so blessed!

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  14. Nan...there really is a Hannah Montana cereal! I know...and yes, I've bought it...Emily eats it...it's purple and pink! I've never tasted it...I'm sure it's alot of sugar {sigh!} LOL!

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  15. i was able to finally join in.. i hope i did it correctly? :D

    check my entry :D

    http://chrisamador.blogspot.com/2009/06/making-your-home-sing-quiet-time.html

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  16. Hey, I've got my map all done... and I'm hopping in the car now! Be ready for me! (I wish!)

    {{ding dong}}

    "It's me! ERICA!!!"

    =0)

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  17. That was such a great post! I think many people want their kids to be more like pets than people because they don't want to adjust their expectations!

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  18. I am so excited to find your blog! I came from Tina at Sunny Flower Days. I love this post about being single and then motherhood. I can't wait to post about this and contribute to making my home sing! Thanks so much for the inspiration and sharing!

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  19. Nan, I am in complete agreement with you!! Unfortunately, I know too many women who do not feel this way. If only they would open their eyes and see what it is they are missing by being so self-centered!

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