Sunday, April 19, 2009

MAKING YOUR HOME SING MONDAY: EXPECTATIONS


Wecome to the "Making Your Home Sing Monday" meme.

I imagine many of you have seen the video of Susan Boyle singing. If you haven't, feel free to follow the link but don't forget to come back! People had certain expectations when they saw her, but her singing just blew them away.

Sometimes we are so quick to label people. Sometimes, we are so quick to label our children, our husband, each other. We get something stuck in our head, we can get certain negative expectations of a person, and then we aren't willing to let people change for the better.

We are so quick to say "You always," or "You never," or "You keep saying that" or "You keep doing that." When people try and change, we may not let them. We may not believe them. We may not give them a chance.

What are your expectations of your children? Of your husband? Are they realistic? Are they fair? Do you expect more from them than they can give?

Sometimes we forget that children are children. They are learning. They are going to make mistakes. Yet, we forget to give them the grace to do that. We want them to learn it now. We can get impatient and annoyed when they forget to do what we just told them to do.

We really need to ask ourselves whether the issue is a heart issue, a training issue, or just a child issue. In other words, did they not do it because they just forgot, as children often do (a childhood issue)? Did they not do it because they really don't understand how to do the job (a training issue)? Or did they not do it because they are truly rebelling and being disobedient ( a heart issue).

I think sometimes we blame things on rebellion when really, it's just childhood forgetfulness and irresponsibility. True, we need to encourage them to remember what mom or dad said, but it doesn't mean that their heart is full of rebellion. Many times it's just sheer irresponsibility. They just forgot. Period.

Many is the time that I expected my husband to know what I wanted. After all, he loves me, right? So if he really loved me, he would know what I wanted without me even having to tell him, right????

I expected him to meet my needs, even if he didn't know what they were. Especially if he didn't know what they were. After all, he should just know, right? If he loved me, he would know. Yeah, how fair is that?

How many times do we get angry with someone because they failed to live up to our expectations? How many times do we get angry or disappointed with ourselves because we fail to meet our own expectations of what a woman or wife or mother should be like?

I am so glad that God loves me no matter what. Because I gotta tell you, I am so not perfect. But you know what, God loves me anyway!

What if we saw other people the way that God sees them? What if we saw the potential in them that God sees? What if we loved them the way God wants us to love them?

I can think of no better way to make my home sing, this week, than to ask God to help me see my family and others through His eyes. To love them the way that He wants me to love them. To love them more than I love myself. To not expect others to meet my needs, but to ask what I can do for them. Because I love them. Because He loves them.

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! As always, please don't forget to leave me a comment!

18 comments:

  1. I just heard that woman sing for the first time a few minutes ago! She was outstanding!

    I struggle with my kids all of the time on their listening skills! I assume sometimes that they are just ignoring my requests. You bring up some very good points in this post!

    Thank you and have a great Monday!

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  2. Ah, yes, my expectations are always greater than reality! I put lots of expectations on the kids and it is hard to remember that they are just kids, and do need to be told several times to do something {sigh!} ;)

    What great reminders! All things I've heard before, and know what's right, yet...I still need to be told...again! Just like the kids! ;)

    Another wonderful post! Thanks so much for sharing and allowing me to make my home sing ;) La la la!

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  3. I am going to keep the computer off during the day and use that time to play with my kiddos. Thanks for your encouragement!

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  4. OUCH...this post hit home, sometimes I am just way to hard on my children and hubby. Thank you so much for sharing this tonight. That video of Susan is just awesome too! I have seen it around and I tear up everytime I watch it.

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  5. Oh my gosh, Nan!!!!!!!!! This post sooooooooooooooo spoke to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You were talking to ME!!!

    God is good!

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  6. I'm a newbie Blogger, once I get the hang of Mr. Linky, I would love to participate in this.

    I agree with this post 100%. We are all so quick to judge those around us whether they are family, friend or stranger. I myself have been guilty of this on many occasions, and I am truly thankful that my loving, heavenly Father gently reminds me that I am not the judge. My job as a Christian is to love and to point others to Him. And more importantly, to keep my relationship with Him up close and personal on a DAILY basis, so I do not lose sight of His plan for my life.

    Thank you for this gentle reminder!

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  7. The idea that I have expectations of people based either on their past behavior or on a preconceived notion about who they are based on any number of indicators is something I am trying very hard to stop. I am quick to sum up people and expect them to behave in a certain. I create a mental snapshot that I believe to be truth. The reality is we all have had bad photos taken of us, as we have all been not at our best or even just behaving differently when we meet people. I have to learn that my filters make me predisposed to think certain things of people. I should take people as they come and accept that they may be different every time I see them.

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  8. great post, I am so happy for Susan Boyle, Tito and I watch and re watch her on you tube all the time. We are both so happy for her and looking forward to what she does next.
    Love the thoughts in your post, very true.

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  9. My husband and I were just talking about expectations this past weekend. Why are we so disappointed with others and others disappointed with us when we don't live up to others expectations? I can't tell you how many times my husband and I have fought over unrealistic expectations of each other.

    We heard a sermon on the radio that spurred this conversation. The pastor said something along the line of...Does God already know everything you have done and are going to do? If so, then He does not have unrealistic expectations for us. He knows not only that we are going to fail but how and why. He does not expect us to do something that He knows we aren't going to do. He is not waiting for us to do something that will either make Him feel good about our relationship with Him or make Him not want to be wit us anymore. He know we are going to fail. Does it disappoint Him? Maybe? It surely makes Him sad when we fail, sin, etc. But God does not have expectations for us. So then why should be have expectations for ourselves? Better yet, for others? The only one that will every meet our expectations is God and He already knows that we are going to fail!! He loves us anyway. So unless we can expect from others what God expects from us, then we have not right to place shame and hurt on others because they are not meeting our expectations.

    If really hit home to me, especially in light of some of our church friends expressing some disappointment in us, or the fact that my husband and I always are disappointed in each other or our kids because of some idea that we had!!

    Long comment but thanks for the post!! I believe heaven will be so wonderful because we not only will be in presence of God for eternity but also there will be no unrealistic expectations from each other!!

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  10. So true girl. We all need to keep our reactions and expectations examined.

    Love ya,
    Beth

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  11. Amen my friend! Expectations can be unrealistic. Thanks for the reminder!

    I loved that Susan Boyle video. Talk about expecations!

    Take care my sweet friend!
    Hope you have a great Monday!

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  12. This is excellent insight. Wow. I totally know what you mean and boy is this an area I fall short in! Definitely something I need help in, too.
    ~Christin
    www.christinnjon.wordpress.com

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  13. I was listening to a sermon in the internet and was talking about how when someone does the same thing to us over and over again, something we don't like,we "forgive" them a few times and after a while we get tired, and the "forgiving" is over. But then he said. How many times have we fallen into the same thing, asking God to forgive us over and over again, pleading to Him to forgive us, and of course He has.Still, how is it that we are not willing to do the same for others? I think I do that with my kids and husband, we get unpatient, we get upset after a couple of times. I need to be as patient and I pray God will be with me.

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  14. Oh, I do so miss your wise insight! I can't wait to be at home to be able to keep up more often!! Thank you so much!

    I am making my home sing "on the road" as we are enjoying our little family and our extended family while on our vacation. How can I make my home sing while on the road? With liesure in our journey in order to relish every moment of our trip and the time we are blessed to be spending with our extended family.

    Hugs,
    Katherine

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  15. Love, love, love this post. Moving 1300 miles away from anyone who knew me (outside my nuclear family) illustrated quite clearly how much of my own behavior was habitual, based upon the constraints and expectations of the people I grew up around. It was truly liberating to shake free of those and become the person I've always been inside.

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  16. Thanks for the reminder to link my post to you! I scheduled it and meant to come back this morning and link and not one more thought has been given to it until I saw your comment.

    And thanks for the reminder to lighten up on everyone who has to come in contact with me.

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  17. Awesome, toe stepping on, post!!!

    I try to remember what it was like to been a teenager and what are just teenage/child things but I don't see to always give the same "grace" to my husband. Like you said...they are just supposed to know! I have gotten better but I am still mess that up too.

    I am so thankful that God doesn't measure His grace by the amount of grace that I show to others!

    Thanks for reminding me and challenging me to do better!

    ((hugs))

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  18. Another toe hitter! Thank you so much for sharing this post! I tend to put high expectations on myself and get upset or depressed for not being what I feel I should be. Ugh! I'm working on it though. Praise God for His love and mercy that He shows us!

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