Sunday, March 22, 2009

MAKING YOUR HOME SING: DEALING WITH DISCOURAGEMENT




Welcome to the "Making Your Home Sing Monday" meme!

I have blogged in the past about how I struggled with guilt when the kids were little. Guilt over not being the "picture perfect" mom that I so wanted to be. Guilt over losing my patience, getting annoyed, raising my voice, having the "mad mom" face, wanting some time away from my kids, wishing that they'd go to sleep without getting up four thousand times, and a ton of other things.

Another thing I struggled with was discouragement. Discouragement because I keep having to remind my kids about the same things over and over, discouragement because I kept having to clean the same things over and over, discouragement because I kept struggling and failing in the same areas over and over.

I think guilt and discouragement is something that we all face. We love our families so much, and we desire to make a home for them so much, and when we don't measure up to our own expectations, we get discouraged. We get frustated and then often we can feel like failures.

We also can get discouraged when it seems like the teachings and things we are trying to instill in our children are not being learned. Having to tell a child over and over again not to slam the door (or you fill in the blank _______) can get discouraging.

We just have to remember that parenting is a process. You don't just parent once and the child gets it. You parent over and over and over. Just like our parents did with us. Just like our Lord does with us. I would love to say that I have "arrived. " But I haven't. God is still working in me (Phil. 1:6) and He still has lots of work to do.

But when I get discouraged at my failings, I try to remember to take it to the Lord in prayer, just like the old song says. I try to remind myself that tomorrow is another day, that there is still time for me to grow in grace. That God is sufficient for me and I need to trust that He is working to make me more like Him.

I remind myself that I love my family, and my home, and that everything I do to that end is a blessing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if I'm not perfect. Although I still have weak areas in which I still struggle, I can also see God's faithfulness and many areas that He has strengthened me in.

When I lose my temper, my patience, or my face or tone of voice is less than pleasant, I ask for forgiveness (from God and my family) and then I have to forgive myself and move on. We don't ever want to give up. We don't ever want to live in our failings. We keep moving forward in the Lord's strength. We keep pressing on.

I desire to love and bless my family and be the best wife and mom that God has for me to be. I already know that I don't measure up. Fortunately, His measuring stick has more grace than mine does, and I know that He loves me, and continues to work in my life daily, smoothing out the rough spots.


We can't make our homes sing if we are holding on to past mistakes. We can't make our homes sing if we keep trying to be somebody else. This week I will remember God's faithfulness to me, and keep seeking to love and bless my family. Instead of trying to make a perfect home (and failing), I will seek to make it a home where love, not perfection, can be found.


What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today. As always, please don't forget to leave me a comment!




24 comments:

  1. Tag you´re it!!

    Wow! you have your Monday post up early. I have an idea for a MYHS post but first I had to play tag. Come on over and see how to play. hehe :)

    I will come back and enjoy your post in a little big.

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  2. One of these days I am going to participate in your Meme (since I ALREADY do TWO Memes on Monday -- why not do three, right?)!

    I know what you mean. I often fail my own expectations.

    It seems like I am going through a heart change right now (reading that Debi Pearl book "Created to be his help meet"), and that is changing the atmosphere of my home. Hallelujah.

    However, when I'm doing well in one area, another seems to lack.

    I vacuumed today (don't tell anyone -- I know, it is the Sabboth -- forgive me Father) and I was surprised how much of a difference it made. Ha! It must have been pretty bad.

    I think of you every time I clean. Isn't that funny? You must have really impacted my life in that area.

    Love!
    Beth

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  3. This is funny,,,, I tag you also! I really enjoyed this post.. such a great reminder! Have a great day!

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  4. I think you posted this just for me! Wow! I love this part especially

    "We just have to remember that parenting is a process. You don't just parent once and the child gets it. You parent over and over and over. Just like our parents did with us. Just like our Lord does with us."

    Another thing I pray is that my boys remember the good times, the good moments with Mommy. I want to enjoy them more.

    Thank you for this post. I will print it!

    My hubby preached a great message today! I Posted it for the Meme!

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  5. Sorry it won´t post till tomorrow, at 6:00am pacific time.
    will it still link fine?

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  6. Thank you for that post. I am sometimes really hard on myself because of past mistakes. I feel guilty all the time over decisions or silly arguments. Asking forgiveness from both God & the kids is something I don't always do...but I need to, thank you for sharing this.

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  7. You are tooooo sweet! Thanks for the tip... i did not know how to do the link thing, Thanks for sharing!!!!

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  8. WOW! Great post!

    "I already know that I don't measure up. Fortunately, His measuring stick has more grace than mine does"

    AMEN! How right you are!

    Blessings this beautiful Monday!
    Debi

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  9. Ok Sorry bout that. I got it now.. linked to the article not just the home page.
    Is there a way you can delete my other link.
    Got the scheduling messed up last night. It´s so weird that my blog is set for Pacific time and not Europe time.

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  10. Wow! I totally related to this post.... the more I read your posts, the more I am aware that we are very much a like. I really needed to hear this today. I battle perfectionism often. It helps to remind myself each day that I am God's work in progress. Have a very blessed day! Love, Heather

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  11. Hello! I love your blog, and what a great post. I have been working on being more grateful....you should visit me over at my blog for gratitude week. Have a blessed monday!

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  12. Thanks for commenting on my blog for MYHS. I fixed the link to your site-sorry! Have a great day.

    DarcyLee

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  13. Good job! That is very true! I like to clean/put up once and for it to stay that way. When it doesn't I get discouraged. The very day you (finally) get around to vacuuming, that's the day SOMEONE (not mentioning any NAMES!) comes in and drops clumps of dried mud all over your carpet. God wants us to focus on the relationship and the person, not on the "tailings" they leave around!

    C. C.

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  14. You have such a great way of making you point! Yes, that is something I think all moms struggle with. I remeber to apologize to my kids when I am not at my best, just as they do when they don't behave.

    I love how I find God in them: that they are so forgiving, just as He is :) And I always think that I constantly need reminders from God to remember to keep the conversation and relationship going, and as I tell my kids ONE more time to do something, I remember God has to tell me ONE more time, too! Because I sometimes am not listening!
    Thanks so much!

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  15. What a blessing to see this! I deal with discouragement as well. I'm hardest on myself.

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  16. Hi folks I accidentally linked to last weeks blog for this weeks blog it is here: http://loveaphid.blogspot.com/2009/03/making-my-house-sing-monday-4.html Moms I don't know if you can fix the link. I looked for a place to do it but could not. Sorry to be a big pain in the neck.

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  17. Wow it seems like we are having the same kind of Monday. I just read your post after writing and posting my own on a similar feeling. nice to know even the pros have their moments.

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  18. I loved your post today...it was just so timely. I was just talking with a young mom who is feeling discouraged. She was complimenting me on my 18-year old son and I had to tell her, "But if you could have seen us this time last year..." My point? So much in life is delayed gratification...with parenting, it truly takes years to see the fruit of our labors. The trick is to stay the course and not give discouragement an inch...if we know we're on the right path, then we're on the right path and we must stick to it...prayer and commitment are the trick...even when our gains are measured in fractions of inches rather than feet, yards, or miles. Just like that ant, we'll eventually get that rubber tree plant!

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  19. Oh my gosh..I totally forgot to try out your meme this week!

    I just loved your post because I always come away encouraged!!

    I know that when I lose my temper, get annoyed easily, etc., it's because I'm not spending enough time with the Lord! I want to be "ready for anything" that life throws my way, and that can only begin w/ my time w/ the Lord in the morning.

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  20. I can soooo relate! As I read this sentence:

    Guilt over losing my patience, getting annoyed, raising my voice, having the "mad mom" face, wanting some time away from my kids, wishing that they'd go to sleep without getting up four thousand times, and a ton of other things.

    I was saying "ANNALISE, STOP JUMPING ON THE BED AND PUT ON YOUR PAJAMAS!" sigh. But I was glad to know its not just my kids that get up 412 times at night! (well, kid. The other is still confined to a crib that I expect him to crawl out of any day now)

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  21. Hi, I really appreciate your help yesterday..... for being so sweet to me, you have won my very 1st Sweet Friend Award! You can pick it up on my blog!!!! Thanks for being a sweet friend! Feel free to pass is along!

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  22. What a GREAT post today. This is so me, and exactly where I am at. I joined in the meme but I don't know how to use Mr. Linky?


    Have a blessed day :)

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