"HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ME?" QUIZ

Welcome to a rousing game of "How Well Do You Know Mom's The Word?" Feel free to make up your own quiz or borrow mine and replace the answers, of course.

1. I have _____ children
A. Four
B. Two
C. Six
D. 14,000

2. My husband is a _________.

A. Pastor
B. Airline pilot
C. Doctor
D. Idiot

3. My hair is _______

A. Blonde
B. Red
C. Brown
D. Not speaking to me at the moment

4. I recently have tried to cut down on drinking

A. Hot chocolate
B. Water
C. Diet Pepsi
D. Ensure

5. I have two ______

A. Dogs
B. Cats
C. Gerbils
D. Pimples

6. I have been known to blog about

A. My hairy legs
B. My ugly nails
C. A pimple on my chin
D. All of the above

7. My favorite style of decorating is

A. Cottage Style
B. Traditional
C. Eclectic
D. Clutter

8. I once blogged about a road trip to

A. Yellowstone National Park
B. Sonic
C. Washington D.C.
4. The moon

9. I am currently ________ my youngest

A. Bench pressing
B. Ignoring
C. Homeschooling
D. Glaring at

10. My first name is
A. Shari
B. Nan
C. Cathy
D. Steve

11. I made up this quiz because

A. I have way to much time on my hands
B. I don't know the answers and am hoping that you do
C. My dog bet me that he knew more answers than you did
D. I am being paid $50,000 for every one that you get right

12. There are twelve questions on here because
A. I like even numbers
B. I like even numbers
C. I like even numbers
D. I like even numbers

Answers below:





˙sɹǝqɯnu uǝʌǝ ǝʞıן ı = ˙21 ؛ɐ = ˙11 ؛q = ˙01 ؛ɔ = ˙9 ؛q = ˙8 ؛ɐ = ˙7 ؛p = ˙6 ؛ɐ = ˙5 ؛ɔ = ˙4 ؛ɔ = ˙3 ؛ɐ = ˙2 ؛q =˙1

Or: (if you want to read it right side up)

1.= B; 2. = A; 3. = C; 4. = C; 5. = A; 6. = D; 7. = A; 8. = B; 9. = C; 10. = B; 11. = A; 12. = I like even numbers.

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

Yesterday I was waiting in line at the grocery store (yes, I went to the grocery store two times in a row, your point?) and I noticed that the man in front of me had better hair than I do.

Seriously, it was longer, thicker, and I think I saw a bit of curl in there.

I am pouting.

A man has prettier hair than I do. Just doesn't seem fair, does it?

I mean, I don't mean to complain because frankly, I am thankful that I have hair. I have to admit I've threatened to pull it out enough (but, if you have children, you already know that feeling).

While I was standing in line, the PA system kept talking in some kind of code, saying stuff like "Deli, 200" or something like that. I think it was actually talking about me. Telling the Deli department to glance over and look at my hair and compare it to the guy's hair.

I think they were hoping that somebody from the Deli department might have some mayonnaise or something that I could use as a little extra conditioner. In fact, I'm sure of it.

My hair stylist is a sweet friend, and she does an amazing job of cutting my hair and trying to make it look thicker than it is. She is a genius. However, she can't do miracles. They have mascara to make eyelashes look bigger and bolder, so where is my hair-mascara?

I am seriously starting to worry that pretty soon, some guy with gorgeous thick hair is going to be doing a shampoo commercial. For women. And that I am going to buy it.

Y'all think I'm kidding about his hair, but I'm not.

In fact, I pushed him out of my way, stepped on his head, flew into the air, did a two and a half gainer (with a twist) in the air and hijacked the PA system in order to make a personal announcement about the glories of all that hair.

Y'all think I'm kidding about that too. I am. Sort of. I did think about it though.

Then I reached into my purse, pulled out a pair of scissors and gave him a haircut. After all, if my hair can't be that long and thick, then why should his get to be?

Y'all think I'm kidding about that, and yes, I am. But really, would it have been such a bad thing to do?

After all, all is fair in love and hair.

YEAH, BUT I GOT A GREAT RIGHT HOOK

Somewhere out there is a store clerk tonight, just shaking his head because he had to help me in a store today. Somewhere out there is a store clerk who is regaling his family with tales about waiting on me today. Somewhere out there is a store clerk who is probably wondering how I manage to take care of myself, let alone a family.

Do you ever have days like that? Days where the "you" that you present to other people is a "you" that you don't even recognize? A wild "you," a disorganized "you," a "you" that looks like you should not even be let out of the house on your own, much less licensed to operate a moving vehicle or allowed to care for your own children?

I like to be prepared when I get up to the register. I like to be ready to place an order, have my cash or payment all ready, and not make anybody wait behind me. I don't like knowing that I have masses of people behind me......waiting.....breathing down my neck and frowning at me.

When the kids were little, I made sure that I had the order all straight in my head so that I could place it. I never waited until I got to the counter and then had them think about what they wanted. I was prepared.

Except for today. Today my son knew what he wanted but I wasn't prepared.

Ooooops.

After paying, I asked the clerk and my oldest son if either of them had taken my cup. My son said "No, I gave it to you" and I answered "No, you didn't." Then my son promptly came over and said "It's in your hand, Mom."

Oh.

I looked down and yup, there it was. In. My. Hand.

Sigh.

Then the same son put his arm around me and laughingly, gently, led me away. Because clearly, I need guidance. Clearly, I don't even know when I am holding a cup in my left hand so how can I know which direction to go?

I just ask you, why does the state allow me to have a license? If I don't even know what is in my left hand, should I be allowed to operate a car that probably weighs over 3,000 pounds? Should I be allowed to operate a blog?

MAKING YOUR HOME SING: FAMILY VS. COMPANY

Welcome to the Making Your Home Sing Monday meme! Every day you are doing something to make your house into a home for yourself and your family (if you have one). My point with each Monday post is, what are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing?

It can be an attitude or an action. Motivation, our attitude, baking, encouraging our husband or children (if we have either one), organization, cleaning, saving money....the opportunities are endless.

In case you have been hiding under a rock somewhere, I thought I would mention that Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away and Christmas is a little over five weeks away. GASP! Where is the time going?????

We know for a fact that we will be having family and friends over for the holidays. That's just a given. It's also a fact that even though I know they are coming to visit us and not our home, I still want my home to look neat and orderly, warm and inviting. That is also a given.

The terms "warm and inviting" strike me as sort of funny. After all, what is warm and inviting to me may not be warm and inviting to you. However, I want my home to feel welcoming and comfortable just the same.

What is "warm and inviting" to you? Is it a crackling fire in the fireplace? (Well, unless it's 80 or 90° outside). Is it a whistling teapot on the stove, waiting to make some hot chocolate? Is it softly scented candles or warm, soft throws over the couch?

What do you do when you have company coming to your home? Do you do something special? Put out special towels, buy a bouquet of flowers, clean the bathroom?

When you know company is coming do you give your home an extra-special cleaning? Do you want everything sparkling and neat?

I know I have been sitting here thinking about all the company we'll be having and thinking "Wow, I need to get this house into shape, I haven't mopped the floors for awhile (my bad, they're supposed to be mopped every Friday.....), I need to make sure the family room is neat and orderly, and wouldn't a fire in the fireplace be nice?"

The thing that strikes me is that I have to admit that I forget that we live here and we deserve just as much consideration as company. Even more so!

Doesn't my family deserve clean bathrooms and "nice" towels and a fire in the fireplace now and then? Maybe they won't notice it right away, but deep down, somewhere the beauty of it and the comfort of it will say "aaaaah, now that's what I'm talking about!"

I just know that when I think about company coming over, I have a tendency to think about what I can do and what I can offer to make their stay more comfortable. I need to be thinking about those same things for my own family.

When my son was in preschool we visited at the home of one of his preschool friends. After using their bathroom and washing my hands, I opened up the door to discover their four year old daughter standing there.

She walked into the bathroom and asked me "Which towels did you use? Did you use these?" and she pointed to a lovely arrangement of very fancy towels hanging over the bar. They even had tassels!

I said that I had indeed used those. She sternly said "You aren't supposed to use those. Those are for company" and showed me a towel hanging over near the bathtub and stated that I was to use that one.

Her mom came in and heard her telling me this and she was mortified. I just laughed but her mom was very embarrassed.

While I totally understand her reasoning the message she is unintentionally sending is that company gets the better towels, or the better sheets, or the better _____ (fill in the blank).

I want to send a message to my family (and myself) that they deserve something welcome and inviting too. I don't need to wait until the holidays to make my home a place of beauty, welcome and rest.

However, it's not just the physical things that make you comfortable and draw you in. What would you rather hear in a kitchen? Pots and pans slamming and tempers flaring, or someone whistling a happy tune?

So this week, I will be thinking about "company" in a whole new way, and seeking to make my home sing for my family each and every day, and not just in a special way when company is coming. Above all, a loving home is an inviting home, don't you think?

What are you doing or going to do today to make your home sing? Please go here for instructions and/or ideas and come back here to link up to join us today! Please do not put your own Making Your Home Sing Monday Linky on your blog. As always, please don't forget to link to this post. Also, please don't forgot to leave me a comment!

HOW COME ELEPHANTS DON'T SELL WRINKLE CREAM?

Does anybody have a "daytime" makeup look and a "nighttime" makeup look? You know what I'm talking about, don't you?

Those magazine articles that show pictures of a gorgeous, perfect six year old model....o.k, maybe she's seven......but like I said, my pediatrician looked like he was twelve the first time I met him.

Oh, before I get to my point I am going to digress a bit. How come they have gorgeous models who don't look a day over 18 talking about wrinkles?????? Seriously. They expect me to take the advice of a 16 or 18 year old-looking model who is trying to sell me wrinkle cream?

Plus, I am supposed to believe that she uses it on all those 10,000 wrinkles that she has, because everybody knows that teenagers have extremely wrinkled skin. Yeah, right. If they were a teenage elephant maybe.

How come elephants never do commercials and sell cream for wrinkles? Or do they? How come skin cream isn't marketed to elephants? They have lots of wrinkly skin! I'll bet somewhere out there is a mama elephant going "Oh no! I just found another wrinkle."

Not only that but somewhere out there is a mama elephant looking in a mirror and exclaiming "Would you look at all this gray!!!!"

What are toddlers doing selling wrinkle cream and talking about hair color to cover the gray? I mean, you don't see pictures of 80 year old women selling acne cream do you?

I have earned every wrinkle I have, from living my life and loving my husband and children and laughing with family and friends, and sometimes crying with them as well. Why should I have to hide that? Why would I want to?

Now, if I want to, then at least do me the courtesy of having somebody older than 18 advertise it to me!

O.k., back to my question. Do you have a daytime look and then a nighttime look? Do you wear less makeup during the day and more at night?

I have never done that. Even when I was younger I had one makeup look. I put that sucker on and it had to last all day and into the evening.

I never wore a daytime look, and then rushed home and washed my face and put on a nighttime face. I never added more makeup so that I could go out wearing a "nighttime" look.

I had, and have, just one makeup look. When I wear makeup, I mean. So there. Now try to sell me a nighttime "look." My nighttime look: no makeup, comfy sweats or jammies, slippers, and bed. Works for me!

WHO PUT THAT THERE ANYWAY?

So last night I noticed that I have a whole lot of things in my kitchen that really don't belong there. This happens on occasion. Half the time I don't know why they are there, how they got there, who put them there, or how long it'll be before they leave again. So I figured they are in the kitchen, so they must be kitchen utensils, right? So I decided to amuse myself.


Yes, I know that glasses belong in the kitchen, but no matter how hard I try I can't get these things to hold milk or water. Also am having trouble finding a matched set. Go figure. Don't know what I'm doing wrong....



No, this is not a laptop. This is a waffle iron. You just pour the batter in, close the lid, and hope for the best. If all else fails, you can print a picture of a waffle. It won't taste very good but it has less calories so you won't gain weight.


This is used as an egg timer for hard boiled eggs. Just put it in the water with the eggs. Feel free to use your imagination though as it won't work. Hey, what did you expect? It says Duracell, not Dura-egg.

Would somebody please explain why there is a partially chewed dog chewy in here? Would you also explain why it isn't at least on the floor where it belongs? Well, this utensil is obviously used as a stir stick. However, after stirring I would not recommend that you drink it. Ugh.

This is great for baking cookies. Very small cookies. Just roll out your dough and cut around the outside for a cookie. Then cut around the inside and make donut holes. Or instead of shaping the dough you can tape it together.

This shampoo will come in very handy if you need to wash lettuce, potatoes, or even carrots for that matter. It will cause them to be very silky, smooth, and fluffy. Not only that, but it's 2-in-1 so you won't have to add moisturizer.

These are great for holding serving spoons, spatulas, or any other serving utensils you may have. It's great because they come in many different colors (and flavors) to match any kitchen decor. You can also get it in Dr. Pepper as well.

You know how hard it is to eat corn-on-the-cob? Well now you can do it in style. This will hold it right on there, and if the corn becomes loose and starts to fall off you can use these to tighten it back up again.

You can never have to many empty paper towel holders. By all means don't throw them away after replacing the towel holder, that would make to much sense. If we get another one, we can attach a line to it and string it out the window. Then we'll be able to talk to our neighbors. Who needs phones?

We are so ready for a party with 100 of these plate-thingys. They look all nice and shiny and hopefully will serve the food attractively. The best thing is when you're done eating you throw them away. No dishes!

So, what kind of strange "utensils" are in your kitchen today?

TUESDAY FASHION WOES

It's Tuesday and I am blogging over at the Five Mom's blog again! Head over there if you want to read about my latest fashion woes.